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I’ve been lonely, but I can do something about it.

My friends are vaccinated, and 70% of Seattle, I haven’t been social. I’m unsure why I haven’t tried to do things with people. My last job was great, and I miss the work and my former co-workers.

I guess I’m starting to heal from being laid off last week. The third time in a row I’ve been laid off. Ugh, I do not want to get back on the job hunt. I’m tired of the yoyo between unemployment and working. I wish to work to be on autopilot to live the rest of my life.

I feel that I can’t date unless I have a job. I need to take a break from Tinder and Bumble. I haven’t been getting matches. Sometimes I get a like on bumble, but every time the “liked timer” for 24 hours expires. I feel like I’ve already cycled through everyone within 100 miles on tinder and been rejected by all.

I need feedback from a friend on my profiles… And I need new pictures.

So frustrating…

Maybe I’ve reverted to being a hermit with covid paranoia, and that’s why I haven’t reached out to people to hang out. (And I just had a wonderful time a few weeks ago at my friend’s house.) Maybe it’s my trust issues.

I need help, but I don’t know what to ask for.

I don’t like feeling invisible.

I feel like I’ve been complaining in posts too much.

Time to do things differently. I can do this.

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Some good

Okay, time to practice gratitude for what I have.

I’m grateful to live in my mother’s house, for mom being generous to charge low rent, in a safe neighborhood, and for my cats.

I’m grateful for having food.

I’m grateful for my mom being alive and that she cares about me.

I’m grateful for the internet keeping me connected to people.

I’m handling the grief from the recent layoff effectively. Feeling the waves as they come.

I’m grateful that things are about to open up.

I’m grateful to be alive, even though I’m in a rough patch.

I’m grateful I’m ready to return to school for a different career. I’m thinking about maybe majoring in something involved with mental health. If not that, something white collar.

I’m grateful for the warm sunny summer weather.

Song of the post: Feels like Summer by Donald Glover

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One step forward.