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I’m about to piss some people off with this series of posts over the next few days. Frankly, I’ll probably lose some family members who are on the other side of the aisle who are supporters of the current POTUS. I don’t care anymore. I’m proud to be a liberal, a far left politics person in the United States. America has become an embarrassment under Trump. Nobody is safe, not even here on the west coast in the liberal cities. I thought this would be easy to do in one post, but this year’s voter guide is a doozy. So, I’ll be giving them the good old free press treatment and roast all of them. Comedy and satire is the most accurate journalism these days. I encourage every voter to seek out as many possible voices to make an educated choice on who to vote for. Here is my voice from the political left… 1448 words.

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2020 primary ballot

My ballot for my local primary election arrived in the mail this week. Arriving the same day as the ballot was The Washington State voters guide. Part of the fun for me voting is reading this for the candidate profiles. Some profiles like “GOODSPACEGUY” are so insane that it’s hilarious. Though in the Trump world, I fear he might actually be elected. More on him later.

I’m struggling with this reality we live in current day America. A narcissist President who denies Science and empathy for his own selfish ends. But he is one man. I’m terrified and disgusted on a human level with his supporters. Wearing a facemask is a political issue to them. The entire world in a pandemic. A disease has no politics. The two requests: wear a facemask when leaving your house, and keep six feet of distance between other humans… Is apparently to much for local Seattelites to do at the park near my house. Every day on my walk, maybe half of other locals at the park or exercising like I am, are wearing a mask. Then 10% of those people are wearing it on their chin, or forehead until they get close to others. I feel I have resting bitch face when I’m out walking because of this shit. Then I’m seeing parties at houses with many people. Packed boats at the lake with nobody wearing masks… I fear the covid case count is about to spike sharply in the next month. All this in Left leaning Seattle. Though I’m a far left politics person, it feels like a tiny haven from the horrors of Trump. Where’s the hope for America when fellow Americans only care about themselves? Nobody survives alone in our world. It’s impossible to do all of the work by hand in our capitalist world. It’s hard to be empathic to fellow humans when their physical presence alone is a threat to your survival. Not voting is not a choice. It’s life or death for all Americans.

How to vote in Washington state: https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/current-election-information.aspx

Register to vote in the United States: https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote

Okay… That was a sobering end to the first paragraph. I started writing this intending for this blog entry to be funny. Well, I’ll let those running for WA State governor say it best… In their own words and profiles. I present to the absurdity of the August Primary!

17 pages of the whopping 88 pages is candidates running for the office of state governor. It can’t be that bad… Right?

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The first two candidates

So it begins…

Alex Tsimerman is first. For context, WA state has no requirement for candidates to choose a political party to be able to run. In its place under their name is their political party of preference. My impression of his photo is that he looks like an evil-idiot-bizarro George Carlin. (Evil George Carlin pic)

Tsimerman’s political party? StandupAmerica. What the fuck is that?! Elected experience: none. Gotta start somewhere, right? Other professional experience: Business, Business consultant, and Caregiver for my mother. While I applaud him for being compassionate towards his parent who needs care, this is a job interview by voters! Oh, maybe he got his degree in nursing! (Reads next paragraph…. Nope!)

Education: College, University, Master degree in Engineering & management. And… How could a college graduate with a master’s degree be so stupid? First off, if you have a college degree, all you need to say is that I have a ______ in _____. I know because I have an AAS in Catering & Banquet Operations aka a Culinary Arts degree. I’m inclined to think he’s lying about his education on first impression. Second, anyone with a high school education knows that you don’t need to put “College, University” before your degree title. Well, I know I’m not voting for him. Sigh… But I must press on to finish this blog post. As the great Eric Andre said on the YouTube show, Hot ones (a show where host Sean Evans interviews people while both eat spicy chicken wings sauced with the world’s spiciest hot sauces), “Gotta give the internet what it wants”

Alex Tsimerman part 2:

Reading this is giving me headache, so I’ll skim through the rest for the gems. (Ahhh. What the hell have a gotten myself into!) Community service: “Won a class action lawsuit in 1997 for housing discrimination, included HUD. Won a very unique class action in 2015 against DSHS for stealing $100 million from 50,000 people.” Class action lawsuits is not community service. This reads like Tsimerman stole $100 million from 50k people, DSHS caught him, brought him to court, and lost. No wonder this guy is running! If he can sue our state government after stealing 100 million dollars from 50,000 Washingtonians, imagine what he can steal from 7,614,893! (source: http://www.census.gov/quickfacts/WA ) my quick math gives me $2,000 a resident. Multiply by our state population, and you get: $15,229,786,000! Guess our state is part of a heist movie!

Alex Tsimerman part 3:

“Speaking over 3000 times in many council chambers about local government corruption…” So all this guy has done is engage in class action lawsuits and complain in local government chambers? What q scumbag! Has he actually done anything worthwhile?! It goes onto say: “has received over 12 trespasses for a total of 1200 days from going into the Demo-Nazi-Gestapo Council chambers. StandUP America and join him!” Hahaha. No. I will stand up. Against him. So he’s been in jail before for over 4 years for multiple counts of trespassing. He has the arrogance to call elected officials, Democrats, Nazi-Gestapo. Clearly this man needs help from a therapist away from society. Guess he didn’t learn anything from his 1200 days in jail. This election for governor isn’t for America, but for Washington State. Guess he also didn’t pay attention in all those council chamber meetings. Otherwise he’d know how our government works.

Thankfully the rest of his statement is one insane phrase repeated 27 times ala Jack Nicholson’s character in The Shining… “Standup! America first! Live free or die! Stop Seattle/King Fascism with idiotic face.” And this idiotic clip: “A one party system is always Fascism. They are all war criminals!” The only idiot I see is this person.

Finally the madness ends with this last sentence which explains everything: “Vote for Trump and Alex Tsimerman to bring Washington and America back to common sense of, by, and for the people!” Bro… You wouldn’t know common sense if reality slapped you in the face. Bro, you sued the state of Washington, a government voted in by the people. For money. Maybe you were justified in doing so. Considering you don’t understand how our government or political system works, you are running for governor, you can’t even fill a compete statement with original or measured thought, and call those opposed to you names, you don’t deserve any position of power over people… Let alone governor. I’d like to say that this person has no chance against the favorite incumbent, Jay Inslee, but this is America under Trump. Voting this year can’t be taken for granted.

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Song of the week: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

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