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This is the conclusion to this post from May 24th.

Catharsis: discharge of pent-up emotions to result in the alleviation of symptoms or the permanent relief of the condition. Source.

Song of the post: “Nessun Dorma from Turnadot, sung by Luciano Pavarotti.

After delays, several days of anxiety… A result. (A week later, feeling normal.)

To begin, I am so over (in an intellectual sense) being sick. Feeling sick for no reason or exhausted.

Just as I think that long covid is gone, the flame is reignited. Damn, these nagging symptoms…

So. Gotta let it go. I need to accept that I am not feeling well and give in to this mysterious, chronic illness. Fighting against my body makes it worse. I can’t change this. It is what it is. 😷

I can acknowledge my emotions in my body and use therapy skills.

Worrying? That would be torture. At times, I talk to my anxious thoughts to gain clarity. Is this feeling something that I can act on? Is it a need that requires attention? Or is it unhelpful fear? What to do next? Decide how to proceed.

I use the following quote to ground myself when I recognize myself worrying. Or, also known as anxiety.

“Why. Worry? Worrying is praying for the thing you fear to happen. So stop worrying.”

Natalie Stavola, dating coach, youtube

I’m paraphrasing this quote and need to fact-check it. There’s also a concept in Zen Buddhism that supports this concept. To notice when you are hijacked by a feeling, acknowledge it’s happening, then choose how to proceed forward.

In the therapy world, it’s called The STOP skill.

• 1) STOP Everything.
• 2) Take a moment. I like to close my eyes and breathe slowly.
• 3) Observe within, as you would in meditation, what you are thinking and feeling in your body in the present.
• 4) Proceed forward. Translation: this is when you decide what to do. Sometimes it’s just to remember that you always have a choice in your actions in life. Other times, it’s to redirect your thinking from unhelpful thinking, such as an anxiety blitz.

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Results

Overall grade B+.

Need to work on communication, especially in text. I need a soft start because I’m direct. So direct that it comes across as cold and/or insensitive. Which backfires because the tone detracts from the message. This trait is common to be on the autism spectrum. My late grandma always said that I was so “literal.”

Okay, it’s autism, and I spent most of my life online on message boards, gaming, and my family dynamic.

I need to improve my leadership and inspiration. The trimmers want more leadership and inspiration from me. Part of this was due to how my direct supervisor and I were figuring out our roles the past 4 months and me stepping back to fit the chain of command.

I need to be comfortable asking for assistance from others in communication situations. How to approach or how to effectively communicate. Or recognize when I need to draft a message and wait on it. I said in the comments that I need to trust myself and be confident.

Once again, life relates the same situation to show me that I need to learn something. I need to learn to practice how to edit writing. And to write for the audience of the piece.

Solution: the app Grammarly. It’s built on an AI that gives you feedback on the impression your message gives. One word or how the message is structured makes a huge difference. Grammarly gives suggestions and specific tips as you type. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this advice, either. It was a tip by the lovely Pooja of Lifeisfinewhine.

(For those that don’t know, Pooja is a blogger from Kenya who writes about SEO/blogging tips, 6-word stories, poetry, and interesting slice-of-life posts.)

Conclusion: I’m doing fantastic at work.

I’ve already had a couple of opportunities to practice this new way of expressing myself, and it’s working!

I got a raise, and they accepted my idea of bonuses for high performers!

I love my workplace. After so many years of struggling in work and life, finally, I’m getting my needs met. I’ve grown so much in the past 6 months. I’m catching up on my emotional and communication issues that were impossible to work on in the socially distant phase of the pandemic. 😤🥰

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• Still not recovered
• Struck by Seratonin Syndrome
• On short hiatus for health reasons
• I need help moving out.
• It feels like a new chapter is on the way
• Rejected again
• A gift from a reader, and a repaired cellphone.
• Life with Long Covid
• Let’s Cook: How Baked Alaska turned into Dos Leches.
• Potluck at a Pot Company

Edit: Welp, so much for SEO practice. I scheduled this post for midnight instead of 11 am today. 🙃

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Thanks for reading! Have you ever had a performance meeting at work? How was it? Tell me below in the comments!

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