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Grey again

Once again I’m lost.

Alone at home on a sunny May day.

In an inner prison I can’t escape.

Do I really want to go back to the pill bottle?

To risk my life to clear the grey?

Paltry savings, not enough to escape the hamster wheel.

I ain’t nothing in the red white and blue without the green.

Body of old man.

Grey taking me over.

37 feel 67

Empty within.

Not that I’m anything.

Nothing fills the void.

Still unable to be loved by a woman.

Maybe they did, but I screwed up.

I don’t understand why any woman would want me.

Bluepoint Siamese cat purrs as she curls on me.

The end of The Doors movie plays on my laptop in the black room.

Wish that women wanted me like a rockstar.

All I am is an indiscriminate. grey rock.

Just another day in the haze.

Just another man-child in a cave.

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