New job, New path.

Picture of an evergreen forest

Monday was the first day of my new life.

I wonder if I’m making the right choices? Work was good yesterday, and I have no complaints. Felt like a typical first day on a job. I think I kept up? I’ll have to ask.

I have to be much more careful now with blogging. The impression I got from the handbook was that this new company is much stricter than my previous place of work. Maybe I’m anxious because I’m new and don’t feel secure because I’m on the first ninety days.

It could be depression from the job separation. Or because it’s been six weeks since I was last on antidepressants. I had to stop drinking, weed, and aspirin, too, since all interacted with Seratonin Syndrome. (Been a couple months now since taking those). All those small amounts built up over time, and my body needed space to recover—not being able to take the minimum dose of aspirin or the like sucks. It helped treat long COVID symptoms.

I am seeing a new therapist/coach; however, help is limited. She’s more of a temporary coach, and I need long-term help with my issues. She has been helpful so far.

Last week I completed the application for college and FAFSA. I know that it’s the right decision, and it will be good for me long term. I also acknowledge that it is the right decision to leave my previous job because of my physical and mental health needs. The goal for now is to become a therapist. Which will require a Masters degree.

All this change is difficult. I’m worried it won’t work out. I feel insecure because I haven’t been here before. I felt 100% certain after high school that I wanted to become a Chef and work in the restaurant industry by first going to college for an associate’s degree. I don’t regret that time in college. It took me several years to realize that wasn’t me anymore. I did delivery work for a few years, then stopped for the same reason.

I feel that way now about weed. Still have to work, and I’m good at this type of work.

I miss my former colleagues.

Change is hard.

Tired of being exhausted, tired of struggling with depression and medication side effects, tired of the pandemic, tired of being tired.

I’m back to one hour, one day at a time, until I’m secure at work; saving time on my commute is nice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s