Sometimes in life, you need a sign you’ve changed and are taking the right path forward.
You need reassurance that you are doing the right thing. You need a reminder that life is short. You need to be reminded that life moves forward in whatever decision you make. We all have our own time alive on this Earth, and we get to choose what we do with that.
One: SNAP, & a loss while in line.
Yesterday, I went to my local DSHS for an interview to finish the process of applying for SNAP. I am currently unemployed, looking for work and waiting to get paid by unemployment. While I am surviving with savings, I need to pay bills to get by until my next job. There’s no shame in receiving either of these benefits. Everyone sometimes needs help, and that is what these government programs are for. My current circumstances have made finding work challenging with my health needs. I’m in the process of getting help for finding work while living with a disability (Long Covid or Post viral Syndrome), and I’m looking for a job I can do while going to college. My school has work-study jobs, but I’m in the process of that too. I’m moving forward slowly, even though lately, it does not feel so. You do what you gotta do.
While sitting at the DSHS office, waiting for my interview, I saw that a long-time friend and former Chef-Instructor at my former cooking school died yesterday. He was in his sixties and struggling with health issues, but I didn’t expect him to pass. He had moved to the Philippines and, for the last 15 years, been running a charity to feed starving children there. While our connection was primarily through Facebook, he would take time daily to view my Facebook stories, react to blog posts and pictures, and comment on things.
A beginning in cooking school
It was his influence after being hired to be a Chef-Instructor when I was in cooking school that led to me discovering Chicken Adobo. He encouraged a change to open the daily lunches to all cuisines outside of the French/European focus of the program. (Nothing wrong with this, as there is delicious food to be found worldwide, and the recipe book we had, does have some good recipes. I feel it was a good move then and now. I went to cooking school in the early aughts during the beginning of the 2000s cooking revolution in the US. The Food Network had just started to take off, and being a foodie was a niche thing.) Since the student body was diverse, we ate many new dishes every day, and Chicken Adobo was one. It’s a cold weather favorite recipe, though you can have it anytime. I wrote a blog post about it a couple of years ago. I plan to make it the next time I buy groceries. This loss reminds me to live a life you are proud of, and to make a positive impact on the world.
He was a good man.
Rest in Peace Chef.
Like listening to an old playlist.
To complete my SNAP application for food benefits, I had to contact and meet with my old employer. I had them fill out a form verifying my last day worked and paid. While DSHS can confirm this in other ways, the agent I was interviewed by said it’s much easier to fill out this form and drop it off. Today, I drove back to my old work for the first time in roughly two months to do this. This was a job I resigned from in April due to the health issues I’m dealing with and because I felt it was time to move on. Though I left on good terms, I felt awkward and was thinking of my time working there on the route I used to drive every day to get there. I listened to the new Foo Fighters album; it’s the first album since drummer Taylor Hawkins died, but it sounded like the stuff they’ve done before. With past Foo Fighter albums, there’s a track or two I like right away, but none connected with me. At a traffic light, I changed to My Top Songs of 2022 Spotify playlist. I was curious and worried about how this experience would be. Is it still the same Fire Bros? Am I the same person as I was in April? Will the same people be working there? How will it be different? Will it be different?
While the former workplace is like 90% the same with some new people, and some I knew grew since then, I clearly have changed. It was nice to have small talk with people I used to work with. I keep up with a few through social media, but it was pleasant to see them in person, even if the dynamic is different.
What did I take away from this? A friend there said, “It’s like I’m returning to my old stomping grounds.” I would say it’s kind of like that. It did feel a little like when I was a CDL truck driver for Coca-Cola and had a route near my old high school. While the building was the same, I was a different person. At that time, driving in a 40-foot truck, it had been 11 years since I was last in high school, yet the memories remained. This time, it was nostalgic like that, but many of the same people were still there.
It felt like relistening to a playlist from that time period. While you may love individual songs, and everything the playlist was you or a reflection of that time, you are the same as you were then. Yeah, this happened only a couple months a go and last year, however pandemic time is much different than regular time. Each of the past years of the previous three years has felt like a decade into itself.
I’m satisfied where I’m at, and glad I chose to make a change. I’ve been second-guessing myself recently, and this was confirmation. I’ve been stressed and anxious about where I’m at because I have been isolated too much.
I’m okay.
Reilly's blog 
Leave a comment