The Wind Cries Mary

Album cover of a black and white photo of a woman in the middle of a peeled orange. Her head is peeled like an orange.
This image came up when I searched the title in duckduckgo images. Feels right for this situation below. Source

When writing, you have to remember who a piece is for.

Yesterday I went and visited my Aunt Mary. It’s been… Since August of last year, I last saw her in person. She’s getting older. She was losing her memory then, was severe enough that she needed full-time care assisted living. (I didn’t know there was a difference between these terms. My bad.) So much happened between now and then, made harder because of the pandemic—full credit to my cousin, her siblings, and my mom for coordinating this challenge. My aunt Mary is in a good place now that meets her needs.

She was so happy to visit me. Her new place is nice, seems the people working there are friendly. Helpful to the residents.

She has aphasia. Which means she forgets things. Memories, people, recalling information. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I’d known her to be wise as a whip and loquacious. I’d known her as kind l caring, and she treated all of us, kids, as equal persons of value.

I hope I’m not oversharing. I had to say write something. I didn’t realize what a privilege it is to have this ability to pontificate. To be able to talk to another person without struggling for words. It breaks my heart.

It hurts to see her differently now. Once again, I know that she is getting older. Part of life and having a large family is seeing your loved ones get older and, eventually, die. Nobody escapes death. Or, in this case, life changes.

Thanks to the pandemic and working on myself for the past two years, I’ve learned to be grateful for who I have in life. The people that care about you are interested in your life and have been there with you. Aunt Mary always has been. All the ups and downs. She reminded me of many good memories, good times together I’d forgotten about.

We went and had McDonald’s with her and a long-time friend who lives there with her for dinner. It was blowing rain. I didn’t mind. Both ladies were so happy, so excited to go out and do something. I was grateful to drive us there.

We returned and ate dinner in a nice visiting area in the lobby of her apartment. Had some nice comfy chairs and a fireplace. It was a wonderful experience. I’m so happy to have that time and meet her friend.

An excellent silly adventure for tasty, fast food.

Our life on this earth is short.

I’m grateful for Sunday and those hundreds of thousands of days in life with her.

I kept up a cheerful front because I wanted to appreciate every minute of this visit. I tried to be strong because she needed me to be.

I bawled on the ferry ride back. Been feeling a bunch of complicated emotions as I’m grateful for everything she’s meant to me and to see her change like this. I’m, my family is grieving the person she was. She’s here but gone. Still a lovely person. Sigh.

Damn…

I couldn’t sleep and wake up in the night with a migraine. I had to take the day off work cause of it.

I’m rambling again. I am getting long in the tooth again.

I love you, Aunt Mary. I couldn’t think of anything else to share but this song by Jimi Hendrix. Maybe we can’t talk with words the same as we used to. Next time, I’ll read to you like you once did when I was a child. Hopefully, we can continue to connect through music. Only this feels right:

Song of the post: The wind cries Mary by Jimi Hendrix

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