Reilly's blog

Negatives

The past week has been stressful. I’ve been sick since Christmas Eve and worried that it’s Covid. Muscle pain, physical exhaustion, weakness, dry cough, dizziness, mild breathing problems. I had to cancel a doctor’s appointment because of Duh! So no flu shot or covid booster. And it snowed 3x this week, so it wasn’t easy to get a test. I couldn’t drive because of my symptoms, and I didn’t feel safe because of the snow. I tried to wait in line at the closest test station but had to have made a prior appointment. No luck and every place in the county was booked for days… I managed to get one for Monday.

I missed a week of work, thankfully, my job was incredibly understanding, and said: “No worries… and to get healthy.”

My mom helped me get an at-home test from Walgreens, and I tested myself on two days. Results: Negative, negative. I’m grateful, but I will feel much better later this week with the more accurate test at the station. I’m like 90% recovered and going back to work tomorrow.

So far, it’s Covid zero, healthy 3. I want to keep it this way. I’m so exhausted by the pandemic. Self-isolating makes me stir crazy.

I found out that my cousin died of covid on Christmas. Damn. I don’t know how to feel yet.

Positives

It’s a new year, and I don’t care. I’m ready for covid to die out, and every day is like: “Are we there yet?” I’m alive; that is something.

I want to move out on my own this year. I’m so tired of having no social life due to the pandemic. I’m bored of spending all my free time on my computer or phone. I don’t see people or do stuff because I’m afraid of getting covid. And not being able to fully trust people to be honest about their vaccine status or simply not knowing they have Covid Delta/Omicron.

I’m not sure what I want in terms of goals. I think I’m ready to date again. I deleted Tinder and hinge back in September due to frustration. I learned that I don’t like texting as a primary form of communication with strangers. Dating and relationships are so complex as is. Also, I’m not a big texter.

It’s been three months since I stopped my antidepressant. I’ve been doing alright. (Well, as alright as anyone is these days 😅)

One thing I want to change this year is not to be so hard on myself.

---

I hope everyone had a good holiday. Stay safe out there. It still is The Pandemic. Mask up, and get the vaccine.