Reilly's blog

Caught with my pants down.

(Sorry mom, I know you read the blog 😂)

I want to say I was tricked, but that absolves me of blame. I fell for this. I’m upset because I was tricked. Frustrated because I fell for another catfish.

On the other hand, I’m like …fuck this! I’m not going to let a shitty person threatening me to control me. I’m not going to allow this bullshit to effect my dating or sex life.

Sexting turned into a video call with a naked woman on the other end. Things were sexy for a decent amount of time to not suspect what comes next.

She turned the tables and took a screenshot of me with my pants down caught red handed.

She threatened to expose me by mass messaging family members.

I feel kept my cool and reported for harassment and showing graphic stuff to people like nudes. Made a post on my Facebook wall, and story. Like this was so blatantly blackmail that I could be focused on protecting myself.

While I was doing this, the other person is threatening to spread the picture and a shot video of me (didn’t know about til then) in the act to everyone I know, and specifically my mom. I think I managed to block and report them in time.

I’m most baffled at the kind of human being that would do this to people! For money? Ugh. Just…. What the Fuck? What a monster.

I guess I’ve won for now. That was really scary. I’m assuming nobody has seen anything.

Somewhere out there online there might be the only nudes and sexy video of me.

I’ve never taken those kinds of pictures of myself before. Never felt the need to. In a way, I’m disappointed by that because I haven’t experienced that in a relationship yet.

( I don’t understand why guys 1) take naked pictures, and 2) send them to women on dating apps without consent or as the first message?)

I dunno if I should be posting about this. I feel stupid to be tricked, upset that I was harassed and threatened, violated because someone tried to shame me by turning on me and using my sexual needs against me.

I guess I needed to vent because I’m figuring out this hurt. I don’t know if this is grief or a long term problem?

Hm, I need to talk to a therapist.

This might be my fear or anxiety talking, but it feels right to post about it here. It’s a risky, weird post. (Am I making this situation worse, or am I overthinking it?)

It’s been really hard to stay positive lately. Fuckin life sometimes…

For the love of God, can I please avoid this ever again by being 5 years into a great romantic relationship?

Ugh.