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Despite recent posts being “down”, I’m doing alright.

“To learn patience is to rebel against every hardship.”

Henry Nouwen.

So, about 2 weeks ago, I quietly returned to the dating pool. Which for the time being, is online dating. Yeah, I have work to do on myself. Yeah, I’m unemployed and looking for work. Yeah I rent from my mom. So what? I don’t like it either, but I’m working on improving these things. I’m worthy, I have good things I can offer too!

I find myself discovering what I want from a future partner by browsing people’s dating profiles. It’s helping me to discover myself and the life I want.

I’m getting better at my worst life skill, dating! Yay!

Social skills aren’t a natural strength for me. (I’m a classic introvert.) That said, the pandemic has tested my limit for being alone. Turns out I do like being around people, and not being a complete hermit. Some is cool.

Lately I’ve been dreaming of the day covid is over because everyone’s vaccinated. For the first time, I want to throw a big party to appreciate everything I took for granted because of the pandemic. I look forward to do activities in person again.

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Dreaming of the future

I feel I made a breakthrough on Monday. It feels like a combination of many little things. I’m grateful to achieve this! My hard work in therapy is paying off! Seems a higher dose of buspirone, the anxiety medication I take, and doxepin for sleep was just what I needed. I felt tired and out of it last month because I was recovering from poor sleep for so long. Nothing like waking up rested, and dreaming again.

What I want to do by this time next year is to move out. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for years, but life kept getting in the way. Finally it feels like life is turning around. The next step is to get a job, then figure out the long term career problem. One step at a time.

Gotta celebrate each step forward along the way!

I wonder what the future will bring?

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