Category Archives: Politics

Six months blogging!

From the hike at my Rainier in August.

6 months blogging!

It’s been 6 months since I started this blog in March! The anniversary was last Sunday, but my dear Grandfather passed last week. It felt wrong not to honor him in a post. It’s still hard to believe that he’s gone…

Grief is a difficult thing to deal with, and it comes in waves. I’m sad. I’m grateful and happy to have known such a wonderful human. That I had an example of what a good man, a great human. I strive to be as good a man as he was. The hardest part about this loss is that its dangerous to visit family due to the threat of covid-19. Visiting online through Facebook and zoom helps… But it’s not the same. I really wish I could visit family, and give hugs. 2020 has been a long year.

It’s important to celebrate the little things… To acknowledge the steps forward I’ve worked hard for. Despite this unusual year, there have been good things that have happened. More after the pictures.

Posts to date and stats:

I feel like I have grown alongside this blog. This next section is about life this past month, and goals for the future. Healthy self esteem is giving credit to your growth.


Personal growth this year:

  • Restarted therapy despite years of struggling to find the help I’ve wanted, and finally got it! I’m growing every day.
  • Finally found an antidepressant that works!
  • Made a bunch of new friends from coworkers from my last job. I haven’t been able to visit much in person with them this year. I want to in the future. All of us were laid off when the company closed on Jan 31st out of the blue.
  • Reconnected with family.
  • Learned about self love, and self care. How to take care of myself. How to assert myself, continue practising communicating my needs. Continue practicing boundaries.
  • Started a meditation practice.
  • Started exercising on a regular basis again.
  • Started a blog.
  • Practicing gratitude and appreciation for the good things in life.
  • Restarted therapy, and being fully committed and engaged in the process.
  • Practicing Forgiving myself when I feel depressed or anxious.
  • Continued practicing being assertive and speaking up for myself.
  • Committing to being the best possible version of myself.
  • Fighting with depression when it lies to me.
  • Being independent for myself.
  • Learning mindfulness and practicing it.
  • Learning to listen to others, and not interrupt when they are talking.
  • Sorting through old unhealthy thoughts and patterns and deciding whether they serve me now, and the future.
  • Saying thank you.
  • Learning how to apologize.
  • Hanging out with friends before the pandemic happened.
  • Respecting other peoples needs and boundaries.
  • Admitting when I have made a mistake.
  • Being accountable for myself.
  • Quit drinking for good! I don’t miss consuming it. 7 months since I stopped!
  • Reduced my cannabis consumption from 4 bowls/2 dabs to one bowl maybe once or twice a week!
  • Started reading books again.
  • Being comfortable expressing my feelings.
  • Rebuilding validation from within instead of from others.
Pciture of Seward Park in Seattle.
How it the blog started!

Goals for the next 6 months:

Note: all of these things will depend on how the Covid-19 pandemic lasts.

  • Get a car. Hopefully something from the past 10 years. The last two cars I’ve owned/shared have been over 15 years old and were constantly in the auto shop for repairs. The cars were a 2000 Volvo s40, and a 2005 Dodge avenger. I spent several times more than what I paid for them in repair costs, and both had awful MPG. I have some savings, so once I get a job I can buy a car. I’ll do what I have to, to get to work… Be it Uber or public transportation for a little while more.
  • Get a job. I had an interview this week, so that is a good sign!
  • Move out. I’ve lived in the same house my entire life, and I’ve wanted to move out for years. I haven’t been able to until now because my mental health. I finally have it managed after 12 long years.
  • Keep blogging. I don’t know my long term goal for the blog. For now I want to keep growing and have each post get more traffic and comments than the last. Right now, I love talking to other bloggers in the comments, and reading their blogs.
  • Keep writing.
  • I want to go back to college and pursue a new career and degree.
  • I do not want to continue working minimum wage jobs the rest of my life. What worked for the past doesn’t line up with my future.
  • Hang out with friends, and make new friends. Hang out in person.
  • I didn’t think it was possible, but I am over my friends-breakup from earlier this year! I am ready to date again! I learned so much from this failure that I am a better person today.
  • I want to date, and have a girlfriend.
  • I want to visit with family.
  • I want to love, and be loved.
  • I want a healthy relationship where I can be support my partner and take care of myself. To have healthy boundaries and clear communication.
  • Continue working through my issues in therapy.
  • Once the pandemic is over, parties for friends and family.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything. But I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do, interfere with what I can do.” -Edward Everett Hale.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/edward_everett_hale_393297

Music of the post:

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End of the month health insurance bullshit

Picture of fire
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

An American Healthcare rant:

My lifelong mortal enemy strikes again to make life difficult: So Sunday I sent in a prescription in for a refill because it ran out. Following my doctors plan, I was expecting to pick up a new dose for my antidepressant from 20 to 40 mg. I get a call from the office saying that the insurance company (Applecare) not only won’t cover ANY dose of that antidepressant, but “suggested” other drugs to take instead. Drugs I’ve tried before in the past which did nothing for me or gave shitty side effects. My current med doesn’t give bad side effects and is the only antidepressant drug that’s ever worked for me and changed my life for the better.

Long story short, I called the number on the back of my insurance card and it was resolved in 5 minutes. Which is the great coverage and service I’ve come to expect from Community Health Plan of WA. I’m incredibly lucky to qualify for this right now because I’m unemployed. I get full coverage. I am so grateful for this health plan. So, having this happen was a slap in the face.

At the end of the month, insurance companies try to deny patients any prescribed drug which would be expensive for them to cover to save money. Apparently this has been happening since before I was born. Insurance companies count on you not fighting them so they can save money for themselves at your health expense.

Even if prescribed by a patients doctor, and even if that patient has tried every other available RX for that condition. If I had to pay out of pocket, my medicine would be $250-300 A MONTH for 30 pills. Which is what I’ll have to pay when I get a job again since most health plans don’t cover shit for prescription drugs, like my last plan with Kaiser Permanente. Hopefully I will know by the end of the day if this is resolved. Fuck you insurance companies.

Due to current prescription drug laws, it will be another 18 months before this medication is generic. AKA Affordable. That is if Trumps pick for the Supreme Court doesn’t throw out The Affordable Care Act and brings back “pre-existing conditions” to deny coverage.

So, if you need to refill your prescriptions today, expect denial by your insurance company. Hopefully, it will be resolved with a phonecall and be covered again. That is if you have a reasonable health insurance company like I do. I wish anyone dealing with our nightmare American healthcare system luck. This alone is why nobody should move to America.

I hope that I don’t have to go long without my antidepressant. If I have to, I can cope until Thursday when it becomes October. I’m already feeling sad because my Dear Grandfather passed last week, and not having my regular dose of medication doesn’t help.

I dunno what is making me the most grumpy… The stressful world we live in, the uncertainty of finding work, not socializing with friends or family much, or the preexisting state of my DNA which led to my current health conditions I manage.

I’ve been on this unwilling ride to a healthy mental health for 12 years. That is far too long. Going in, I expected maybe 5 years at most. I’m so tired of having my life on hold because insurance won’t cover my medication or therapy visits. I am really trying to be positive and believe that this year is the turning point. This is not for a lack of trying every other way such as self improvement tips, exercise, meditation, healthy eating, and so on. Half my depression is physical brain chemistry. The only way to treat it is with medicine.

This is why voting is so important this year. Trump hasn’t done shit to change the fucked up Healthcare system. Not that he has done anything to help anyone but himself and his cronies. I like Joe Biden. I doubt he will change much in the system thanks to how fucked up Trump has destroyed America. It’s simply a huge amount of work to recover from and so many burning issues to address.

God dammit, I just want to live in peace with minimal suffering. To make my way and have anyone struggling with medical conditions to not have to pay the equivalent of car payments for medicine. This system feels like its setup for you to fail. Going through the slow process of finding the medications to treat you is difficult. I am so fortunate that my daily survival doesn’t depend on my medications. Insurance companies don’t care about you. All you are is another expense while they pay their CEOs millions of dollars.

Thank you for reading my rant. How has your experience been with prescription drugs and the American Healthcare system?

American flag
Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

In a Haze

Picture of the forest fires from my residence in Seattle.
Picture of the smog from the backyard from last saturday

It was dark inside my bedroom.

I turn on my phone, check the air pollution index. It’s green.

I get up, put some pajamas on, and go out to for the newspaper. I take a long deep breath.

The smog is gone. Air crisp with a hint of sweet pine.

For the first time in a week I can breathe fresh air.

I feel my inner smog dissolve.

No wonder I’ve been so anxious. Lethargic.


It was dark inside my bedroom.

I remember the smog rolling in that first night.

It slithered through the window grates.

It had an odor like weed and alder in a bonfire.

By the morning it became a slow poison… Smog.

I felt closed in a prison when I closed the last open window in the house.

It felt like the slowest week of the year.

I am ready for 2020 to be over.

For today, I’m grateful to have fresh air to breathe.

Through the haze I have clarity.

I don’t want to work awful minimum wage jobs.

Need to get a car.

I want to go back to college. For what? I can’t say.

I feel ready to date again.

For now, I need a job for all these.

I can do this.


Songs of the week:

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

One vote in seattle part 5: Election day finale

One vote in seattle part 5. Wa State primary election, 2020.
Source
American flag with cherry blossoms.
Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

This is the last post in this series: Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4.

The time to change the world is here. It is currently 1:19pm PST and I have less than 6 hours to finish this piece in time for the 8pm PST deadline. I haven’t voted myself as I write this. Time to pull out the evolving Spotify playlist I use to pump me up! Time to work…:

One vote in Seattle part 5

2020 has been a crazy year made worse by poor voting decisions made in 2016 when Trump was elected. I sure didn’t vote for him. Yes, it’s only the state primary election, but your decision on who to vote for can start to alter the future. While the November election will have the world watching who Americans choose for the next POTUS between Joe Biden (D) and Donald Trump (R), the real foundational changes will be at the local and state level.

During this covid-19 pandemic, here in America, we have seen the results of leadership or not between the 50 states. Ignoring the expert advice by Virology and Scientists, who devote their lives to understanding disease, because the goes against your political beliefs… Is like Democratic President Barack Obama ignoring the attacks on 9/11. The right wing would be furious, and rightfully so. This is what it feels like as a Liberal in America right now.

source

For people in some states, you can not vote and die, or stand up for yourself and vote. You can choose to vote someone in who actually cares about your life over politics, over the fucking economy. It’s vote or die!

https://southpark.cc.com/clips/104400/vote-or-die (The full clip with context that I can’t embed.)

source. I’m joking but who figured this would come true this year… I’m ready for 2020 to be over!

It’s too late to mail the ballot since it is election day, but all WA state voters can drop off their ballot at a box by 8pm today!

Here is where you can find ballot drop boxes for your county: https://www.sos.wa.gov/_assets/elections/7.17.2020%20drop%20boxes%20and%20voting%20centers.pdf

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

How to register to vote in WA state:

https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/register.aspx

How to vote in America: https://vote.gov/

Candidate profiles from: https://voter.votewa.gov/genericvoterguide.aspx?e=865&c=99#/candidates/57059

Without further adieu, here are the last 12 candidates…

One vote in seattle, part 4

This years candidates, Douche vs Turd x 37. Source: South Park season 8, episode 8, “Douche vs Turd”. 17:08 minutes in.

This is part 4 of a series of posts covering the candidates for governor in the WA state primary election. Here is part 1. Holy shit I’m only on 16/37 of all the candidates. What the fuck was I thinking? For those that have read the previous three posts, I apologize for not posting yesterday and promising I would. I was burned out after Friday’s post. I’m also frustrated at myself for not doing a small writeup. Now I have to finish this series in the next 2 days. While the in person drop off for ballot boxes is the same day on Tuesday, August 4th, the deadline for mailing the ballots is by tomorrow, August 3rd. Warning: post gets weird. 2527 words.

Since I discovered the Spotify embed in the WordPress editor last post, I’m going to change the format of future posts to have the music in the beginning. This week, I’ve been getting back into Incubus again. Back in the late aughts and early 2010’s, I used to have them on heavy rotation on my Microsoft Zune.

Edit: Damn, I thought I still had my Zune in a storage box, but I couldn’t find it!

How to register to vote in WA state:

https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/register.aspx

How to vote in America: https://vote.gov/

Candidate profiles from: https://voter.votewa.gov/genericvoterguide.aspx?e=865&c=99#/candidates/57059

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

Candidate #17: Gene Hart. Democratic Party.

Overall impression: A classic example of a candidate that has been in the politics game a long time. Election experience as a party delegate this year, along with military, professional, and community service experiences. In short a career activist on the path to being a politician. A bit over the top with statement tone and word choice. Maybe I’m nitpicking.

Weird stuff: (I figure it’s better to combine “Statement flaws + things that stand out” into this from now on)

Anyway… Weird stuff: “Multidisciplinary Studies at The University of Hard Knocks; Post Baccalaureate Graduate Studies in Business Administration, Healthcare Management, Law and Accounting” So, did he get a degree after his Bachelors, or is he bullshitting us by listing the classes he took, but didn’t go ahead and finish his degree? Probably bs, based on this cringy detail Multidisciplinary Studies at The University of Hard Knocks. Ugh.

“as Washington State Governor, I would most likely sign that reform, given my sense of it, as the next step for healthcare as an unalienable right.” Why are you wasting my time with most likely… AKA maybe? I’m already leaning Maybe No towards choosing you. “Our pandemical tsunami has changed the lay of the land.” GROAN.

“In my mind, it really is Full Mobilization, All Hands, Non-Profits, Profits and Government needed, urged, coached and inspired.” What the hell does this mean? Other than empty bullshit, once again.

“I will establish a Kitchen Cabinet concept in Office of the Governor” Lol, wut?

“Onward. We already have top quality, volunteers waiting in the wings.This is our home. We want, We deserve more. Putting People First, Keeping People First. It short, I want the good, better and best angels of our nature, fully mobilized, not the ugly, worst and flawed earth angels of our nature. My apology for long-winded polemic, but you did press the on button and it worked.The only limits to our realizations of tomorrows will be our doubts of todays. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.” Um…. Why is this familiar to me? Oh I know!

Needless to say, this strange turn is not going to convince me to vote for him.

Edit: oh he’s a sentient robot!

One vote in Seattle, part 3.

Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

Part 1, Part 2. Prepare yourself for 2962 words!

This is part 3 of a series of posts I’ll be finishing before August 4th, the WA state primary election day. To prepare you, my politics is deep blue Liberal. I have been giving my thoughts about each candidate running for Washington state Governor. All 37 candidates…. Between the previous posts, there are 31 more to review before voting day. 😐With that in mind, I’m making making some tweaks to make writing this easier to do. I found it interesting to type the other candidates words by hand instead of copy-pasting, but it at times that felt like torture. Finishing this project, keeping my word to the readers, and to myself is what is important. I can’t count on finishing this sometime in the future, because all we have is this moment in time. Covid or not, nobody knows what the future will bring. There is no better time than now.

How to register to vote in WA state:

https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/register.aspx

Without further ado, here are the next 10 candidates, starting with candidate #7 Liz Hallock.

Candidate profiles from: https://voter.votewa.gov/genericvoterguide.aspx?e=865&c=99#/candidates/57059

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

Candidate #7: Liz Hallock. Green Party.

Overall impression: Finally a woman! I like that she is wearing a mask in her photo. Has election experience, experience with the law, and a small business owner. Normally I’m weary of any candidate that runs for the Green Party, but Hallock’s statement profile is a perfect example of what to do right. Each section filled with relevant experience, is to the point, and I know exactly where she stands on issues without over the top political spin. It’s nice to see a Green Party candidate that doesn’t have views that are impossible to achieve in our life times, or have a criminal record. I feel she could have won another race for office instead of the competitive governors race this year. Guess we will all see what she does from now on.

Things that stand out: “Involved in Citizens’ Climate Lobby, Yakima Humane Society, Yakima Immigrant Resource Network, First Descents Cancer Survivor Support Program, ESL Tutoring, Financial Education Courses for Domestic Violence Survivors, Recalling elected officials who actively encouraged citizens to defy Local Health Authority COVID-19 Stay-at-Home orders.” This is how you demonstrate community service.

Statement flaws: “mother of two.” Being a parent is not professional experience. “Finally, Amazon’s practices have been anti-competitive and predatory. We need to transform Amazon into a public utility owned by the people.” While this is true, I don’t see this ever happening in my lifetime. America already has the USPS. I admire the thought of dreaming for the impossible instead of the bullshit compromises the Democrats make with Republicans in DC.

One vote in Seattle, part 2.

Part 2 of Fridays post (One vote in Seattle, Part 1.) 1976 words.

The 🔥 continues…

I’m trying something different this week with this series of posts. I’m considering to post more often until I get another job. I was reminded today, that the WA primary election is on August 4th, which is 7 days from now. So, my goal is to complete my review of the 37 candidates by then.

Monday was fucking hot. As hot as putting your hand into a 450 degree oven. It was 93F on Monday in Seattle. I believe the hottest day so far this year. So I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, let alone writing… The days in 2020 are blending together. My mom said something about last year earlier today. I said “Last. Year?” What’s that?” With dry sarcasm. 2019 feels like a decade ago in 2020 America. At this point, the only thing that would surprise me would be “First Contact” with aliens. The only small amount of influence I have is to vote. I’m lucky, and grateful to live in a state with mail in voting. It’s so simple, and safe that seeing other places fight against it is like arguing against modern plumbing. Sure you can shit in an outhouse. But why would you when you can go number two inside where it’s far more comfortable and convenient? Utter blasphemy. First world problems, lol.

Anyway, here’s the next 5 candidates running for the Governor of Washington State…

Picture of the voters ballot in WA. Picture focus is of the candidates running for state governor.
37 different people running for governor this year! Progress! And horror because now I have to review all of these! Oof.

To my horror today, I opened my ballot and saw the photo above. I assumed going into this writing project that I could easily knock the hole thing off in maybe 2 posts about 2,000 words. Boy was I wrong! I published Fridays post and realized that Alex Tsimerman’s review was 1400 words! Fuck. I was in the zone in the 8 hours it took to write it. So, I’ll change things up, and keep it brief for each candidate. Here we go…

page 21 of the wa state voters guide.
I feel I waver between the professional and laziness spectrum for photos. Perfect Instagram photos are so boring to me. Life is about appreciating imperfection. Humans aren’t perfect.

Candidate # 2: Phil Fortunato. Republican Party.

Overall impression: Phil’s profile is a standard for a current elected official. Makes sense as he has held office on three separate occasions. I don’t agree with his Republican politics so I know I’m not voting for him. The current Republican politics of America are callous and selfish. Covid-19 is a human survival issue. Wearing masks, keeping your distance from people, and washing your hands is being considerate to your fellow human. It’s about being responsible for your actions. It’s about not wanting to inflict harm onto others. Don’t be a masskhole. Please, follow the guidelines.

Statement Flaws: Community service- Marriage is not community service. Neither is the number of children you have. To imply so is to say that your kids are sex trophies. Now that’s fucked up. He follows that by pimping out his kids military service for his own gain. Wow.

Things that stand out: “You can check my voting record…” Lol, nope. “Now his(Governor Jay Inslee) inconsistent response to Covid-19 has caused untold economic and social devastation to families and small businesses around the state.” I’m going to have to disagree with this statement. On the basis of science and empathy. My fellow Washingtonians and I were right to vote governor Inslee into office. It’s why our total covid-19 case count is: 53,231. Inslee has been proactive, follows expert advice, and took action early. This is so out of touch with reality.

Source: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html

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One vote in Seattle, Part 1.

I’m about to piss some people off with this series of posts over the next few days. Frankly, I’ll probably lose some family members who are on the other side of the aisle who are supporters of the current POTUS. I don’t care anymore. I’m proud to be a liberal, a far left politics person in the United States. America has become an embarrassment under Trump. Nobody is safe, not even here on the west coast in the liberal cities. I thought this would be easy to do in one post, but this year’s voter guide is a doozy. So, I’ll be giving them the good old free press treatment and roast all of them. Comedy and satire is the most accurate journalism these days. I encourage every voter to seek out as many possible voices to make an educated choice on who to vote for. Here is my voice from the political left… 1448 words.


WA state mail in ballot.

2020 primary ballot

My ballot for my local primary election arrived in the mail this week. Arriving the same day as the ballot was The Washington State voters guide. Part of the fun for me voting is reading this for the candidate profiles. Some profiles like “GOODSPACEGUY” are so insane that it’s hilarious. Though in the Trump world, I fear he might actually be elected. More on him later.

I’m struggling with this reality we live in current day America. A narcissist President who denies Science and empathy for his own selfish ends. But he is one man. I’m terrified and disgusted on a human level with his supporters. Wearing a facemask is a political issue to them. The entire world in a pandemic. A disease has no politics. The two requests: wear a facemask when leaving your house, and keep six feet of distance between other humans… Is apparently to much for local Seattelites to do at the park near my house. Every day on my walk, maybe half of other locals at the park or exercising like I am, are wearing a mask. Then 10% of those people are wearing it on their chin, or forehead until they get close to others. I feel I have resting bitch face when I’m out walking because of this shit. Then I’m seeing parties at houses with many people. Packed boats at the lake with nobody wearing masks… I fear the covid case count is about to spike sharply in the next month. All this in Left leaning Seattle. Though I’m a far left politics person, it feels like a tiny haven from the horrors of Trump. Where’s the hope for America when fellow Americans only care about themselves? Nobody survives alone in our world. It’s impossible to do all of the work by hand in our capitalist world. It’s hard to be empathic to fellow humans when their physical presence alone is a threat to your survival. Not voting is not a choice. It’s life or death for all Americans.

How to vote in Washington state: https://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/current-election-information.aspx

Source

Register to vote in the United States: https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote

Source

Okay… That was a sobering end to the first paragraph. I started writing this intending for this blog entry to be funny. Well, I’ll let those running for WA State governor say it best… In their own words and profiles. I present to the absurdity of the August Primary!

17 pages of the whopping 88 pages is candidates running for the office of state governor. It can’t be that bad… Right?


The first two candidates

Picture of voters guide. First two candidates for WA governor. An interesting note which will be soon demonstrated in the corner near the page numbers: " King County Elections does not correct punctuation, grammar, or fact check candidate and measure statements." Buckle up kids.
First two candidates for WA governor. An interesting note which will be soon demonstrated in the corner near the page numbers: ” King County Elections does not correct punctuation, grammar, or fact check candidate and measure statements.” Buckle up kids.

So it begins…

Alex Tsimerman is first. For context, WA state has no requirement for candidates to choose a political party to be able to run. In its place under their name is their political party of preference. My impression of his photo is that he looks like an evil-idiot-bizarro George Carlin. (Evil George Carlin pic)

Source

Tsimerman’s political party? StandupAmerica. What the fuck is that?! Elected experience: none. Gotta start somewhere, right? Other professional experience: Business, Business consultant, and Caregiver for my mother. While I applaud him for being compassionate towards his parent who needs care, this is a job interview by voters! Oh, maybe he got his degree in nursing! (Reads next paragraph…. Nope!)

Education: College, University, Master degree in Engineering & management. And… How could a college graduate with a master’s degree be so stupid? First off, if you have a college degree, all you need to say is that I have a ______ in _____. I know because I have an AAS in Catering & Banquet Operations aka a Culinary Arts degree. I’m inclined to think he’s lying about his education on first impression. Second, anyone with a high school education knows that you don’t need to put “College, University” before your degree title. Well, I know I’m not voting for him. Sigh… But I must press on to finish this blog post. As the great Eric Andre said on the YouTube show, Hot ones (a show where host Sean Evans interviews people while both eat spicy chicken wings sauced with the world’s spiciest hot sauces), “Gotta give the internet what it wants”

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Seattle in June 2020

It’s a rainy June day in Seattle.

Today the grey clouds and rain, a welcome change.

The peace roses outside my window in bloom.

Hues of yellow, cream, and pink.

A welcome break from the police violence.

All the protestors want is to be heard, peacefully.

Rubber bullets, flash-bang grenades, and gas warfare are unnecessary.

Please take off your armor.

Disarm your weapons, throw them to the ground.

March with us. 

I’m at home in my green walled room.

I’ve been too afraid of covid19 to march in protest.

I must manage my mental health.

While an excuse, it’s still giving in to fear.

Fear that if I’m exposed that I will put my older mother in danger of dying because she is part of the vulnerable group.

But that is what the civil rights movement, Black Lives Matter movement is all about.

It’s about showing us white folk the fear, violence, and injustice that Blue folk have been doing to them since America started. Blue uniforms with red on the mind.

Facebook posting isn’t enough.

You gotta show up too.

Voting will help… But that’s months away.

March in June.

In the name of love.


Song of the post, Pride by U2:

Song of the week: Pride (In the name of love) -Live- By U2.


If you enjoyed reading this, give it a like, comment, follow and share on Facebook, and subscribe to my email list!

Don’t forget to wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19! The facebook page is also what I use to post updates if late, like I was last week.

Brownies for a friend

Slice of delicious Brownies.

Photo from the brownie batch I made for myself earlier in the week.

Brownies

3 cups almond flour (if substituting for regular flour, use 2 cups)

4oz butter (or one stick)

1 cup cocoa powder (The quality of your cocoa powder makes the difference in how tasty your brownies are. I haven’t found a cocoa powder as good as this one yet… https://amzn.to/3gYL6a9

3 whole eggs (2 if using regular flour. Almond flour needs an extra egg in the recipe to have the same consistency)

1 cup chocolate chips

1.5 tsp salt

1 cup sugar

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

Pinch cayenne pepper

Equipment needed: A whisk, a spatula, mixing bowls, glass 8×8 pyrex pan, a metal pan if using stove melting method.

Start by combing the almond flour, salt, cayenne, and cocoa powder into a mixing bowl.
Mix together with a whisk, or fork.
It needs to look close to this to be mixed properly. It’s okay if there are little chunks of cocoa powder. Mixing properly ensures that the brownies turn out.
Add the eggs,sugar, and vanilla extract into a bowl, and vigorously whip them with a fork or whisk. Unrelated, but also included in the pictured… A dirty cutting board from cooking dinner, and 70% isopropyl alcohol for cleaning.
This is the consistency you are looking for your egg mixture to be after whipping. It should run in a stream like this when lifted from your mixing instrument, in this case a fork.
Add the chocolate chips and butter into a pan on the stove on low heat. The goal is to emulsify the butter and chocolate into a new mixture. You can also do this in a microwave. If you done in a microwave, slowly heat in 20 second increments, stir, then melt another 20 seconds, stir, until it is the same consistency as this picture. Low and slow melting is the goal.
Pour the egg-sugar-vanilla mixture, and the chocolate-butter mix (also called a ganache!) into the center of the bowl of dry ingredients.
Mix the shit out of it with a spatula. Note: if using regular flour, you must be careful of over mixing as the gluten in flour changes the process. Almond flour doesn’t have gluten so you don’t have to worry about this.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F, or 176 C. This is the batter partially mixed.
Your brownie batter should look like this when fully mixed. Before spooning it into the Glass Pyrex pan, spray the Pyrex with nonstick oil spray.
Spread the batter around the pan with your spatula. This is how it looks when ready. Bake in your oven for 45 minutes at 350F/176C
This is how they look, hot out of the oven. To tell if they are ready, poke the center with a toothpick or thermometer, and it it comes out clean, they’re ready. It’s okay if it has cracks like this. Once cooled the cracks should recede. Its important that you allow the brownies to cool for a minimum of 1 hour. Almond flour brownies are much more delicate hot and will fall apart if not given enough time to cool. Its hell when they smell so good, but patience is key.
Money shot at my computer desk of the finished brownies.

A look into America this week…

My neighbors tribute outside her house to George Floyd.

As American as….

    I first must acknowledge that I despise the current format for recipes rewarded by google in food blogs, so I’ll leave this entry after the recipe for those interested in reading it. Gimme the damn recipe, not your story about it. Put it after the recipe. So I will, even if I get less views. Be the change you want to see in the world. I apologize for being two days late on this post.

As a white man of privilege on the autistic spectrum, I only know a little bit about being an outsider, to be considered different from society. I’ll never know what it feels like to be a person of color in America. I’ve been absolutely ashamed and disgusted at America since 2016. Growing up, it seemed like things were finally getting better for everyone in this country. I thought the future was finally here in 2008 when our first black president, Barack Obama was elected. That change was finally on the way. Like many progressives on the left, I was disgusted at the outcome of 2016’s election with POTUS 45. I never thought things would be this bad. 

I’m 34, so the first election I could vote in was in 2004 with Bush v Kerry. I didn’t agree with George W Bush’s policies, but at least he cared about America. At Least he considered the voices of everyone, and reached across the aisle when things got tough. POTUS 45 never  has given a fuck about anything other than himself since 2016. Republicans took their masks off, and fell in line treating him like a king. This is a direct attack to the very soul of being American. Our country is built upon protesting the King of England, “No taxation without representation!” Where the hell is the representation? Seems rich old white men continue to rule the world, while everyone else is supposed to beg for scraps with the government. 


Image source: https://wyrz.org/governor-mike-pence-directs-flags-flown-half-staff-statewide-honor-law-enforcement-officers-killed-dallas-shootings/ Thanks Pence, we can use this image to honor those brutalized by police too!

    “That’s one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong

This week I have been questioning how I can make an impact. How I can best use my voice to help those that are struggling. It felt like a weight too heavy to bear alone. So, after running into paths that led nowhere, I had to simplify things and recharge from this emotional ride this week. I felt like I had to be there for my family and friends. I didn’t know what to do, thoughts racing, feeling paranoid even going outside at night past curfew to smoke so I could even sleep… When every other self care method I used wasn’t working. I realized that I was overwhelmed by PTSD from this traumatic week. I needed to recharge. Making decisions while angry isn’t productive if you aren’t able to use your anger in a healthy way. 

Sometimes, the answer to what to do is right in front of you. My answer to all this is: Meditation, cooking, music, and anime. All of which are cultural symbols from across the world. I’ve learned from meditation that you can always close your eyes and focus on breathing to calm yourself. To clear your mind of  thoughts. It is our ultimate privilege as the living. Nothing made this more apparent than the murder of George Floyd. Unfortunately kneeing a person on the neck is common practice by police across America, as demonstrated as the protests amped up and police brutality escalated by the worst departments such as the Seattle Police Department.  Maybe all this suffering will finally lead to an overhaul of the American police system. November can’t come soon enough. While dumping the current POTUS will greatly help, even more important is to vote in your local elections. Change starts at the local level, and every vote counts. As broken as voting for president is, it’s still effective in enacting change at the local level. Vote!

Voting info below:

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