Six months blogging!
6 months blogging!
It’s been 6 months since I started this blog in March! The anniversary was last Sunday, but my dear Grandfather passed last week. It felt wrong not to honor him in a post. It’s still hard to believe that he’s gone…
Grief is a difficult thing to deal with, and it comes in waves. I’m sad. I’m grateful and happy to have known such a wonderful human. That I had an example of what a good man, a great human. I strive to be as good a man as he was. The hardest part about this loss is that its dangerous to visit family due to the threat of covid-19. Visiting online through Facebook and zoom helps… But it’s not the same. I really wish I could visit family, and give hugs. 2020 has been a long year.
It’s important to celebrate the little things… To acknowledge the steps forward I’ve worked hard for. Despite this unusual year, there have been good things that have happened. More after the pictures.
Posts to date and stats:
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- October 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- June 2022
- May 2022
- April 2022
- March 2022
- February 2022
- January 2022
- December 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
- August 2021
- July 2021
- June 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
I feel like I have grown alongside this blog. This next section is about life this past month, and goals for the future. Healthy self esteem is giving credit to your growth.
Personal growth this year:
- Restarted therapy despite years of struggling to find the help I’ve wanted, and finally got it! I’m growing every day.
- Finally found an antidepressant that works!
- Made a bunch of new friends from coworkers from my last job. I haven’t been able to visit much in person with them this year. I want to in the future. All of us were laid off when the company closed on Jan 31st out of the blue.
- Reconnected with family.
- Learned about self love, and self care. How to take care of myself. How to assert myself, continue practising communicating my needs. Continue practicing boundaries.
- Started a meditation practice.
- Started exercising on a regular basis again.
- Started a blog.
- Practicing gratitude and appreciation for the good things in life.
- Restarted therapy, and being fully committed and engaged in the process.
- Practicing Forgiving myself when I feel depressed or anxious.
- Continued practicing being assertive and speaking up for myself.
- Committing to being the best possible version of myself.
- Fighting with depression when it lies to me.
- Being independent for myself.
- Learning mindfulness and practicing it.
- Learning to listen to others, and not interrupt when they are talking.
- Sorting through old unhealthy thoughts and patterns and deciding whether they serve me now, and the future.
- Saying thank you.
- Learning how to apologize.
- Hanging out with friends before the pandemic happened.
- Respecting other peoples needs and boundaries.
- Admitting when I have made a mistake.
- Being accountable for myself.
- Quit drinking for good! I don’t miss consuming it. 7 months since I stopped!
- Reduced my cannabis consumption from 4 bowls/2 dabs to one bowl maybe once or twice a week!
- Started reading books again.
- Being comfortable expressing my feelings.
- Rebuilding validation from within instead of from others.
Goals for the next 6 months:
Note: all of these things will depend on how the Covid-19 pandemic lasts.
- Get a car. Hopefully something from the past 10 years. The last two cars I’ve owned/shared have been over 15 years old and were constantly in the auto shop for repairs. The cars were a 2000 Volvo s40, and a 2005 Dodge avenger. I spent several times more than what I paid for them in repair costs, and both had awful MPG. I have some savings, so once I get a job I can buy a car. I’ll do what I have to, to get to work… Be it Uber or public transportation for a little while more.
- Get a job. I had an interview this week, so that is a good sign!
- Move out. I’ve lived in the same house my entire life, and I’ve wanted to move out for years. I haven’t been able to until now because my mental health. I finally have it managed after 12 long years.
- Keep blogging. I don’t know my long term goal for the blog. For now I want to keep growing and have each post get more traffic and comments than the last. Right now, I love talking to other bloggers in the comments, and reading their blogs.
- Keep writing.
- I want to go back to college and pursue a new career and degree.
- I do not want to continue working minimum wage jobs the rest of my life. What worked for the past doesn’t line up with my future.
- Hang out with friends, and make new friends. Hang out in person.
- I didn’t think it was possible, but I am over my friends-breakup from earlier this year! I am ready to date again! I learned so much from this failure that I am a better person today.
- I want to date, and have a girlfriend.
- I want to visit with family.
- I want to love, and be loved.
- I want a healthy relationship where I can be support my partner and take care of myself. To have healthy boundaries and clear communication.
- Continue working through my issues in therapy.
- Once the pandemic is over, parties for friends and family.
I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything. But I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do, interfere with what I can do.” -Edward Everett Hale.https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/edward_everett_hale_393297