I think… I have a girlfriend. 😳 The mysterious woman I met on Tinder that I’ve blogged about recently. We have communicated thus far over WhatsApp, but haven’t met in person yet because of the pandemic, and this new relationship. I’m euphoric that this is happening, and incredibly anxious because I’m worried she might reject me. I haven’t had a girlfriend before and now that’s so close I’m worried. It feels too good to be true… My dream of finding some I love, that loves me too is coming true. That also wants to meet in person. All of my suffering and hard work to become healthy has meaning. Because I earned meaning by being persistent. In my romantic life, 2020 has felt like a classic Romantic Christmas movie…. A Cinderella Christmas story for me? 2020 has also taught me to be patient, and be bold too. Please let this be real!
It’s been such a long time since I could jam to this music. Omg it’s really happening!
Covid test result: negative!
I got fantastic news today, I had a negative test result, so I don’t have Coronavirus! This is also true for everyone at work! I’m grateful for this! This means that I can meet my new beau in person soon. I’m so excited!
My love life is in bloom.This is the first selfie I’ve felt confident about my looks in a long time.
The end of the Tinder saga?
Today I got rid of all the dating apps I had on my phone. It was nice to get so many matches on Bumble, and even 1 on Hinge, but I’m a one woman man. Omg I can’t wait to see what life has next for me and my new lady. What an amazing turn of events!
Have love and a girlfriend is a thing I’ve secretly wish for as a Xmas present for years. And it’s here? Woah.
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
Saw this on Instagram today, from #anxietyproblems page. It really captured how I feel lately. Maybe this is why I subconsciously started this blog… Because I was afraid I didn’t know myself enough. I guess knowing yourself is a lifelong process.
I’m worried this new relationship is too good to be true. I’ve been texting a lady I matched with on Tinder. It’s been going well for a couple weeks! It’s so new that it feels fragile. I’m hopeful that it will continue to go well. There isn’t any guarantee of course, but I feel that I’m showing up and being comfortable expressing my needs, being myself, and communicating with her.
Bolero performed by The London Symphony Orchestra.
I’m a romantic relationship noob. The reason I chose Bolero for this post, is because this piece of music is how I feel about the romantic relationship dance. Be patient, but brave. It’s healthy to go slow, and grow. You want a partner with you, not anyone to complete you. The best analogy I’ve heard to describe a healthy relationship is from Russell Brand’s youtube channel. I couldn’t find which video this quote is from, so I’ll paraphrase it… Something like: A healthy relationship is like two buildings next to each other. Each one needs to have a healthy sense of self. Two separate beings next to each other.
I haven’t been as mindful and in the moment for a romantic relationship as I am in this one. It’s been easy to be myself and be vulnerable. I am worthy, I am strong, I am enough. I can handle myself and any problems that come up!
So, as I promised Alexandra Marie Santos in the blog post above, I will answer her response to my question on her blog. Below are questions she posed in her post:
Being single doesn’t mean waiting for love entrance, which is the wrong move. When you wait, you slow down your movement towards what is waiting for you.
Thankfully, I learned this lesson the hard way earlier this year. I’m not waiting for someone again.
When you are single, it doesn’t mean that you are emotionally broken, unlovable, incomplete, or missing out on life. In reality, this is your opportunity to glow and master your tools as a future partner by educating yourself.
It’s not that I feel I’m missing out on dating because I’m single, it’s more like I’m curious what that aspect of life feels like. I haven’t dated much before because I had to focus on my mental health. I’ve been on this journey for 12 years, and finally got the help I’ve sought for for long. To be mentally healthy has been my biggest goal in life for a long time. I’ve been constantly educating myself in whatever way I could over the years.
Confidence. When you embrace your singlehood and stop think when and how love will materialize in your life. You build your confidence but also peace of mind.
Love and relationships don’t just happen. I didn’t learn this until this year. You have to work at it. I simply don’t want to be single for the rest of my life, and would not want to be. I feel like I have to accept this weird contradiction to finally find the right person. Like I have to give up wanting to be with anyone to find someone? Huh? I get that you need to be healthy on your own, and have your own life. How am I supposed to practice relationship or dating skills? You have to practice with people.
Singlehood offers the opportunity to explore what you want to explore without being a doormat of somebody else whimsical demands because we tend to choose bad partners or reject good ones when we don’t feel great about ourselves.
Agreed.
Being single isn’t a synonym for death, but a great period to evolve and understand that love and partnership is the merging of two souls, not as a Hollywood portrait, but as how real-life demands.
Agreed.
How do you feel about your single life and being single?
Though the pandemic life right now sucks because I can’t go out and see friends or family in person, or not be able to go try activities with people, I’m comfortable being single. I’m already introverted so I am careful with people I bring into my life.
Are you using this time to fulfill your emotional needs and also discovering new parts of yourself? Or are you ruminating about how in the future it will be having another person by your side?
Yep. Basically why I started blogging earlier this year. To fulfill my needs, and discovering parts of myself. I’m not ruminating about anyone anymore because I already made that mistake and waited 7 years for someone to be available. It ended in an embarrassing, ugly, bitter breakup. I feel I’ve learned from it and moved on.
Not all relationships will survive, but I see, and research has shown that around 90% of intimate relationships fail because people don’t have mental clarity about what they want, don’t know themselves. And don’t explain how they want to be loved by their partner or think there is someone always better waiting for them. And this takes us to another important point: the necessity to acknowledge their’s and our’s romantic dynamics history. How many serious relationships they had? They were the ones who ended it? At what stage, the relationship ended? What about us? Do we need to chase people? Do we need to prove ourselves and our worth, and so we tend to chose unavailable partners?
I know what I want, and have explained to my new person what I want. We haven’t talked much about our histories, yet. I’m not chasing anymore, and I don’t think I’ve been trying to prove myself to my new person. I am enough as I am right now.
If you would like to read the whole blog post, here is the link again:
This is a picture of my old dream board. In 2017, my goal was to finish a novel I started. I made it 47,458 words on a draft. I want to finish it. Man, I need to clean this… 🙃
This is significant because, the total word count for this blog before this post is:
Considering some of that is quotes from other people, I’m going ahead and say that I made it! This is officially the most writing I have ever done in a single year! Woohoo!
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
2/31 posts done for the December writing marathon!
I was texting this woman I matched with on Tinder. It was a nice converstation between us that was going well. Until I fucked up… Maybe its simply not to be, and she clicked with someone else.
Last weekend I was browsing Spotify for new music and I find this song:
Just quickly browsing the wikipedia article has these gems at the top: “Characteristics: Guthrie refers to the incident as a “massacree“, a colloquialism originating in the Ozark Mountains[5] that describes “an event so wildly and improbably and baroquely messed up that the results are almost impossible to believe”. It is a corruption of the word massacre, but carries a much lighterand more sarcastic connotation, rather than describing anything involving actual death.[6]“
Prologue: Guthrie explains that his friend Alice owns a restaurant, but adds that “Alice’s Restaurant” is the name of the song, not the business. He then sings the chorus, which is in the form of a jingle for the restaurant, beginning “You can get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant”, and continuing with directions to it.
I hope this is just anxiety!
Did I just imply that she’s so fucked up, it’s impossible to believe? And “you can get anything you want from her? Aka a slut? What the fuck did I do? Well, that and not respond for 5 days. No wonder she took her picture off her whatsapp profile…
This was the worst choice of song to suggest to someone, along with the awful shit I said. I hope I didn’t harass her! Fuck. I fucked up.
Oof… I can’t believe I said something so stupid… And now I can’t message her to apologize for being an asshole!
She unmatched me on Tinder. Boy I fucked up.
So, I will apologize here. Hopefully I can teach someone else not to be an asshole online over text! And if you make a mistake, apologize immediately. Dear Match from Tinder, I am so sorry for what I said on {day happened} I regret sending those last __ messages. I’m sorry. Maybe you will never read this, but I am so sorry. I won’t contact you again, and went ahead and deleted your info on Whatsapp. I apologize for being your first impression of a person on Tinder. 😑
I know that dating is a journey, and that failure is the way to grow, but so soon sucks. Hopefully this is nothing. Merely incompatibility.
Thankfully, I still have 1 match I’m taking to. I hope it continues to go well!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh, so this is what happened… 😬 Thanks Zoewiezoe!:
I’m glad to hear that your symptoms are improving! It’s hard to tell if I’m still this is soreness from…
I’ll try later. Becki Sent from my iPad < div dir=”ltr”> < blockquote type=”cite”>
Rebecca, I think part of your comment was cut off?
Thanks, Meg! It was a long quarter but I’m glad it’s over. Lucy, the tuxedo cat can go out but…
There’s definite value in all that you are studying! I’ve discovered that because I was so ill and ‘slower’ with…
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
Reilly's blog 
I’m glad to hear that your symptoms are improving! It’s hard to tell if I’m still this is soreness from…