Yesterday, Thursday, I missed work because of a flare-up.
I wasn’t able to write because of my health.
It’s been a year and about two weeks since I caught covid, which became long covid. I have been fortunate that I have been slowly recovering. Recovery is being able to do physical tasks at work, grinding weed, and making joints on the knock machine, for hours or in a shift. Both of these require you to be on your feet and move around. While primarily small movements in a small space, the exercise adds up. I would compare it to cooking professionally.
Before covid, I could do this work a whole shift, and while I would be tired, I could go home and do other stuff without being completely wiped out. These days, my body feels like a cell phone with an old battery. I’m alright with average tasks, but I do something straining and need to rest (recharge). The past few times I have pushed myself, I had to take days off work to recover and sleep. The exhaustion and fatigue don’t match the activities I did to cause it. I have discovered that too many mental activities can cause the same exhaustion.
Even though I am recovering and can do more, I must stay home and rest some days.
When I wake up, my body feels heavy, and it’s hard to move; I can’t think clearly, and I feel exhausted despite getting 8-9 hours of solid sleep… I know I have to stay home. It’s like being high and drunk without any benefits, and you’ve just come home after a 16-hour shift and went to the gym for a hard workout. But right as you woke up.
I have reached a point where I can go to work some days despite not feeling the greatest. I’m debating that now, Friday, as I write this post.
I’m struggling to put words together because of brain fog. Concentrating is difficult, and the harder I do, the more my head hurts, and I become spacey. I don’t have as much full-body inflammation as yesterday, and my joints aren’t painful, but it’s enough to feel like I’m dragging an anchor around just doing my regular routine.
I am like an older cellphone with an old battery, like my current phone. Some tasks, such as watching videos, will drain the battery quickly, and some things cause it to slow down or freeze. While I’ll be able to install a new battery on my phone and change the charging port, I can’t do this with my body and this chronic illness.
So, I’ll continue managing my energy, eating better, getting extra rest, and making adjustments with the help of my doctor and specialists.
Maybe I’ll recover by next year at this rate? I hope so.
Only about 14% of the United States has the latest covid booster vaccine.
The pandemic isn’t over for me. Long covid is hellish.
I’ve accepted my lot living with long covid. This is my fate. I don’t like having it. I want to feel like I did before, I took being healthy for granted. This is what acceptance means to me. I have a chronic disease, and this is my life. I have a disability due to this.
Your energy still isn’t back to 100%.
You get tired easily.
Your heart rate varies.
You are short of breath.
You get sick easily.
Simple exercise wears you out and can knock you out for days from exhaustion.
Your trust in humanity goes to zero. How can you fully trust anyone when anyone can spread covid to you?
I’m tired of the pandemic too. But we ain’t quite out of the pandemic woods.
That major outbreak across China is an ominous sign. A new covid variant is sure to originate from that. Fuck, we were so close to the end of the pandemic. One more winter and it felt that the worst was behind us… I wouldn’t have to fear catching it again while vulnerable. I would rather avoid potentially shortening my life like that.
I write this as I had to take the day off work due to exhaustion. I left early yesterday because I was tired after a half day of work, despite it being an easy day. Covid fatigue feels like you’ve done a hard workout recently or worked a tough work week, and it’s Friday night… But you haven’t done either of those things. I’m okay; I must remind myself to pace myself as I fully recover over the next month and a half. I hope I don’t have long covid. Time will tell.
Covid. The first week was the hardest. I was the sickest I’ve ever been. I was pretty useless that first week. It wasn’t easy to do basic tasks like cooking. I do it; then I feel like I just ran a 100-meter dash and was wiped out. Slowly over week two, I started to recover and was gradually able to do basic tasks without being short of breath, with the other covid symptoms such as fatigue, weakness, exhaustion, fever, chills, cough, brain fog, and terror of wondering if this is it? That very same week, I learned that my cousin died from Covid. Debra was killed on Christmas. She wasn’t vaccinated. What a horrible tragedy. I had to miss her service because I caught Covid. I had some risk factors, such as being Obese. I gained 20 pounds last year (or maybe since the pandemic started, time feels weird these days. Dunno if this is a side effect of recovery from Coronavirus or living in a pandemic. I need to lose weight this year.) I want to visit her grave soon.
You just don’t know what will happen to you if you catch it. Don’t gamble your life to it. Get vaccinated.
I put those hours of doom scrolling to use by trying every possible treatment I could.
1) Being vaccinated ASAP. It’s likely I caught Covid when I did, because I’m not boosted.
2) Drinking freshly made lemon-ginger tea with copious honey.
3) Max amount of extra strength cough syrup.
4) Drinking weed tea. Not activated, as edibles typically are, but ground dried flower. It seems to work, as I felt a big difference an hour after it had taken effect. I wasn’t high (I didn’t want to be, and it’s not wise to smoke with a respiratory disease)
5) increased rest, and lots of water.
6) Taking an additional 5k IU Vitamin D every day and an additional 1-2 Turmeric-Ginger supplements.
I had two doctor’s appointments in December; both were canceled. First, my doctor was sick, then me four weeks later. After that, I was busy with work. Please don’t make my mistake and get the vaccine booster. If nothing else, when you catch Covid, it won’t be as bad or have the worse effects.
I’m recovered, but my body hasn’t caught up. My energy isn’t all back, but that’s to be expected two weeks from it. I pushed myself too much by returning to work and going full speed.
Song of the post: Down with the sickness by Disturbed.
Next week, (and 2021… Next year?!) my current job with Cleen Craft (Link related work posts) ends on Monday the 4th, and on Tuesday the 5th, my new job as a political canvasser with Grassroots Team begins.
Grassroots.team is a political group that raises money for charities such as Amnesty international. I’ll be going door to door to raise money for that organization. Essentially, it’s a sales job. If I don’t “sell” enough monthly donations, I lose this job.
Because of the pandemic, I’ll be wearing a face-mask. My employer also mentioned two additional protection measures by offering a face shield and a 6 foot rolling mat to distance from people.
This will be the third time I’ve done this type of canvassing work. My past two experiences weren’t positive. The first time I didn’t get a donation, so I wasn’t hired on. Had the same problem the second time, and wasn’t hired on full time. I hope this goes well. If nothing else, it was something to do for a good cause. I’ll be able to be away from home, and be outside. This might be the hardest time in charity canvassing history to acquire more donors. So, its okay if it doesn’t work out.
Sales, and interacting with people isn’t a strength I have. This coming experience will be a good way to increase these skills. I have room to grow. This will be a good learning experience.
One major problem… I’m out of shape, and I gained 5 pounds last month due to comfort/stress eating carby food. 😅 I need to lose weight and get back in shape… 😅
Would you risk your life for a job?
That is what is at stake right now for unemployed people like me. Today I realized that an aspect I have to consider is: Is this job worth getting covid and possibly dying for?
My claim to receive benefits expired this week. Don’t get me wrong, I am so fortunate to have had this privilege this year. I don’t have to choose the risk of getting covid and dying, or basic survival. I already had one close call being exposed to coronavirus with my current employer… and everyone did everything right. So I guess that is why I have no problem with my new job. They’re honest and straight forward.
Today I heard back on a job I applied to on Indeed. But… It was temp to hire, required one weekend shift, only a couple days a week, and I was contacted through a recruiter. On top of this, the call ended early –Either I was hung up on or the other person lost connection– and the recruiter didn’t bother to call back or email me to see what happened. Yeah… I’m glad it ended soon. For a job with no guarantee of employment, paid only 15% more than minimum wage, and not knowing if I would have benefits… That was far too risky to work there. I was under the impression from the job description that I would be directly hired. Boy I’m glad I have this job with Grassroots.
Why can’t employers be honest?
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Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
It was simple as calling the doctor’s office yesterday, and getting an appointment.
I drove to the facility and parked at a designated parking spot. I arrived to nab the one open space. Three white tents with a taped piece of paper: call ***-***-**** to check-in.
I open the phone app on my phone, and enter the phone number. As it connects, I press speaker option. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring… Nobody is picking up. The parking lot is about 80 percent full, and it’s 110pm, so they must be busy. The call ends.
I connect bluetooth and put on the Cloud of Unknowing.:
It’s a somber, soulful song which matches my worries. I don’t know how this test will turn out.
I call the number again, and check in. Now I have to wait.
I don’t have long to worry, as the man in the car in the parking spot to my right has a medical professional approach his car. The professional is wearing a white lab coat, N95 face mask, a plastic face shield, and disposable gloves.
I pause the music to observe.
The man in the car opens the door ajar, wearing a baby blue disposable mask. The professional explains the procedure to him.
Put the swab in each nostril and swab inside each for 15 seconds. Then you hand the swab back to her with your mask back on.
He finishes his test, hands the swab to her, and she tells him to expect results in 2-5 days depending on how busy the lab is. The man asks about work, and the professional says that the office will write a letter if requested for a positive result.
A moment later, the medical professional repeats the covid-19 test procedure with me. She ends with “Until you get your results, act like you have it.”
I drive home. Pondering my life. While it’s unlikely I have it, and there is a high chance I recover, I could die. I could die in the next two weeks.
I feel like I’ve barely become an average man. Never known romantic love, what it feels like to achieve a dream, never been independent, haven’t even had an amazing date… Haven’t had sex.
Is this really it? Is this really the best I could do in 34 years?
I’m trying to be positive about my life. But I’m not satisfied how it is. I hope my destiny isn’t to die from covid.
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
A few minutes ago, my coworker called me. He got news from the company we rent the commercial canning machine from that one of the employees tested positive for Covid-19. The risk for exposure is likely low, as everyone wore masks and because of how the machine is set up, we are always 6 feet or more away. When we do canning, the spot for the machine is well ventilated. On top of this, I have been really on top of washing my hands.
Tomorrow I’m going in for a test. It will be the second time I have tested this year. The first being a couple months ago just to be safe, and to further science. This time is for the real thing. The nurse at my doctors office said it takes about 5 days to get results after.
I haven’t had any symptoms yet, but since I last worked on Friday, I might not be showing symptoms yet. Here is the current information from the CDC:
Watch for symptoms
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms to severe illness. Symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposureto the virus. People with these symptoms may have COVID-19:
Fever or chills
Cough
Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
Fatigue
Muscle or body aches
Headache
New loss of taste or smell
Sore throat
Congestion or runny nose
Nausea or vomiting
Diarrhea
This list does not include all possible symptoms. CDC will continue to update this list as we learn more about COVID-19.
When to seek emergency medical attention
Look for emergency warning signs* for COVID-19. If someone is showing any of these signs, seek emergency medical careimmediately:
Trouble breathing
Persistent pain or pressure in the chest
New confusion
Inability to wake or stay awake
Bluish lips or face
*This list is not all possible symptoms. Please call your medical provider for any other symptoms that are severe or concerning to you.
Call 911 or call ahead to your local emergency facility: Notify the operator that you are seeking care for someone who has or may have COVID-19.
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
A batch of candy cane cookies I made in 2016. These are so delicious, yet I can’t have this recipe of this cookie because it requires butter. And are high in carbs, sugar, and calories. I need to find a low carb, sugar free, and dairy free recipe of these cookies. …I need to work on mastering low carb sweets. I’m looking forward to this project!This is our family recipe my mom got from cooks.com years ago. Delicious gluten, carbs, sugar, and dairy. Sugar is a hell of a drug, lol.
Pandemic Xmas, 2020:
I’m dreaming of a regular Christmas this year.
A regular Xmas with no threat of a virus. When I don’t have to worry about Covid-19, just because I want to visit with people. I’m frustrated because I’ve been following the rules since March. It’s nice to to know im not alone in feeling this way. One day the pandemic will be over. Don’t forget to be mindful and appreciate what is going well in your life.
It’s hit me that Xmas is coming up. And I really love Christmas. I like to show my appreciation for people in presents. Giving and quality time are how I express affection. I’m not sure how I like to receive affection yet. Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages is on my audible wishlist to read.
This is normally the time when I get my Christmas shopping done. This year isn’t my first lean Xmas either. So that means being a clever shopper and getting my Mom and Brother what they want on a budget! While all of us are on lean budgets for presents, that doesn’t mean we can’t get exactly what each of us wants.
I wonder what I want for xmas… That I couldn’t buy later for myself, that others can give me. Sometimes asking for presents feels weird because I don’t need much, and usually buy what I need. Patron Liberal Saint, Senator Bernie Sanders, please forgive me. Avoiding products that support the 1% is hard, and I’m only human.
I miss the joy of waking up on christmas day as a child. Only wanting a few things, and still feel utter joy from the presents I did receive. Like you had won the lottery because I got the newest Optiumus Prime or Power Rangers Zord toy as a present. Xmas as an adult is quite different from the experience of it as a child. It felt like you could ask for the world… I want to rediscover that feeling of wonder from childhood.
A dream Xmas present list
World peace.
Equality.
Nobody would be rich or poor.
Happiness for everyone.
A world free of suffering, free of disease, and starvation.
Universal understanding. Is this enlightenment?
A cure for coronavirus.
A a satisfying life where I meet my needs and give back to the world.
Sometimes text communication is hard.
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.” Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard Star Trek: The Next Generation Imdb source
At times, I find the above quote helpful, said by Captain Picard from Star Trek: TNG.
“Geek wisdom: Life isn’t fair all the time. Sometimes you will given lucky breaks and sometimes unlucky ones. There are also going to be times when, even if you think you’ve thought of every possible bad thing that could happen and prepare contingencies for them, things may still not swing your way. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try things anymore. The important thing is that you try.” Source
Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay. Keep on trying. I’m grateful that I learned this lesson this year. Life goes on. (Man therapy, and self care are awesome!)
I was going through the situation described in the link below this weekend with this new relation I’ve had entirely over text on Whatsapp with a new person:
While the target audience for this article is for women, this part spoke to me as an anxious man:
“In a new relationship, texting can be both exciting and filled with anxiety. Before you over analyze his texts, read this to find out how to text in style.“
“On the opposite end of the digital spectrum, the absence of a daily text or a change in routine can send many in new relationships and the lovelorn into an unnecessary panic attack. Let’s face it. Women often tend to over-analyze the word count and sentence structure of every text they receive from men.”
Turns out, what I thought was a red flag was easily fixed by communicating, and the situation is good. Guess this success at communication shows my growth in relationship skills this year. It wasn’t a disaster, it was my anxiety! And I handled both skillfully! Yay!
I’m grateful for this budding relationship, that’s life!
Making or visiting friends in the Pandemic! 😷😅
Understanding the pandemic through South Park episodes.
Lately life feels like the episode “Gluten free Ebola” from South Park season 18. And I feel like the lead characters Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. In the episode, they return to school after trying to get 10 million dollars from a startup. They failed, and try to make up their arrogant failure by doing something good to make up for it. The Gluten-Ebola outbreak in the episode is solved by turning the established thinking upside down and taking a new approach to a problem the world faces. They learn and adapt to the new reality.
Song of the post is not Christmas music. That is reserved only for December 25, not the entirety of November and December this posts song is: Imagine By John Lennon.
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!
I’m feeling refreshed after that short break from blogging!
I was recently hired at a local small business called Clēēn Craft. It’s a small business in a restaurant building in downtown Seattle. The job is typical physical labor warehouse work, most my day is spent moving pallets of soda around, packing sodas into cardboard trays like the picture above, or into 4 pack boxes to be sold at stores. Not many places have our product yet since the business is new, but hopefully business will pick up for the Christmas season. My boss has made some deals, but nobody knows what will happen. Add in the pandemic world, and a looming recession/depression and as the Cliche for this year goes… It’s an uncertain world. (Not that the “regular”, non pandemic life isn’t uncertain). For now this is a part time seasonal job with potential for more. I like my job, and my coworkers, and am grateful to work here.
If you would like to help the company I work for, and help to keep my job past December, you can order from our website here: https://cleencraft.com/
It’s nice to work again, as I haven’t worked a this many hours in a week since January. It’s been rough looking for suitable work as I’ve looked since June this year.
I expected packaging sodas would be like this scene from I love Lucy:
The difference between this scene and at work is that the canning machine is incredibly loud. The machine is so loud that I have to wear earplugs, or listen to music/audio-books. This is a pretty nice perk of the job. I’ve finished a couple audio-books while working. Between the shifts in October and November, I’ve listened to 87 hours of books. Noice!
In reality it’s more like the below gif:
The actual speed is more like this.
When all the machinery is going smoothly like yesterday, it goes like this:
If the speed is too fast, or i fall behind for a few seconds while stacking the 24 packs of cans onto the pallet, it looks like this:
This hasn’t happened yet, but if say the pressure builds up, worst case scenario this can happen… The last can can cause an avalanche and the soda machine techs have to stop the line:
I haven’t worked in downtown Seattle in a few years, so going to work again during the Pandemic was a double adjustment.
* The following political opinion is my own.*
Seattle pandemic rant:
One is seeing all the homeless living in tents everywhere. It’s an absolute shame that homelessness is still a problem in this city. There are multiple billionaires and trillion dollar companies in the greater Seattle area. And our solution is to round them up and push them away because everyone is too selfish to change our taxes to a fair income tax system from our outdated Sales tax. We as a state could solve this problem tomorrow by having more politicians like Bernie Sanders, but no… Bezos wants to build rockets for space… Which I assume he plans on leaving Earth behind to not pay taxes and colonize mars for Amazon.
Two, it’s tragic to see so few homeless people not wear masks, and act like the pandemic isn’t happening. I mean I get it, as there is no hope from the Federal or local governments that their situation will change pandemic or not. When I see people not wearing masks, it’s like seeing potential covid-19 ghosts.
Third, its infuriating that so many non homeless people are not wearing masks or doing the chinstrap bullshit. I’d say that 80% of people have been wearing masks properly. Probably 70% of those people are giving the 6 feet of distance on the sidewalks. Less so on the lightrail. I’m concerned I might be gambling with getting covid by riding it. Parking in Seattle isn’t possible anymore in downtown Seattle. It simply isn’t there anymore. While a good thing due to the investment in public transportation, its a risk taking it during a pandemic. According to my county public health statistics, the odds of catching covid are 1498 per 100,000 residents. Riding any public transportation is risk for riders health. I can’t afford to take an uber both ways to and from work. So it’s public transportation, or walk about 7 miles. On the plus side, I can get a good workout from this exercise!
Walking home every day is a reminder how fucked up the U.S, and the city government is. And thanks to the asshole republicans in the Senate, and Trump, no help is on the way. Way to hold our politicians accountable in the Senate, America. Having Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as President and VP will help, but the reality is that many more Americans are going to die from coronavirus due to our own selfishness. As a human being with empathy, and a Liberal that has tried to convince right wing people otherwise, this current election is a reminder that all I can do now is watch people die from Covid. That is the message this election sent.
If you voted for Trump this last time, fuck you. I am willing to forgive those that voted for him in 2016, but changed their mind after seeing Trumps selfish and hateful behavior. To vote again for him says that the things he said and done are acceptable morals to have. That those are the values you as the person who voted him have. So, fuck you. You don’t deserve the Covid vaccine. You don’t deserve this democracy, the right to vote, or the benefits of science. Trump made the corona virus a political issue by ignoring expert advice over and over again this year. By voting for him, you said that is acceptable behavior for an adult and a leader of this country. You are saying that it’s okay for people to suffer from illness and possibly die because of your political beliefs. You could have voted third party, or not at all. Instead you chose Trump. I will never forgive you. I don’t give a fuck if you stop reading this blog or unfriend me because of this. I’m not losing anything from my life anyway. Thank you for showing me who you really are behind closed doors.
Maybe… Maybe I would reconsider in the future with a genuine apology, that saying that Covid-19 was not fake, that science is real, and that you have a problem with Fox News. Maybe I’m still in denial that America really is a piece of shit.
Mask up.
January 20, 2021 can’t come soon enough… 66 days to go.
Music of the post:
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!
Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19!
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