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The saga versus Statistics continues

If you read the previous post, you are familiar with my current struggle in Statistics class.

(Link here)

There’s been developments.

One: I took a quiz yesterday on current material, and could only complete two out of the four questions on the quiz in the allotted time of 25 minutes. So, maybe a total of 50%. I also had issues fitting the two photos of the printed sheet into a PDF file so I could submit them on time. My professor said in the quiz notes to message him immediately if there were any technical problems, which I did right after the timer ran out,, and I couldn’t press upload in time. I should probably be okay. (Ugh, probably is a shorter version of the word probability, part of the subject I am struggling with.) AND, I will be able to make up 20% of the missed points on the quiz after he has graded them. So, that will help.

This quiz was harder than the previous two because there was four questions instead of two. Us students took it online this week because it was a development day for the professors at the college. Something that happens about every quarter. So both of my wednesday in person classes were changed to online work instead.

If I had more time, I could have finished the other two questions and answered them correctly. We were allowed a page of notes, and I did study beforehand. But, at about the 5 minute mark, my inner fight, flight, freeze, and fawn PTSD responses ignited. Leading me to cycle between them as I tried to complete the one quiz question I was better familar with, to try finishing it in time. I got something in the answer box, which was incorrect. Which was frustrating, because looking at it a day later with fresh eyes, I saw exactly what method to use. But I ran out of time and couldn’t think through, process all of the steps, and write it down, in 5 minutes with a ticking clock. And I had to upload it as a PDF in that same time period.

As of writing this post, the quiz has not been graded, and I haven’t gotten an email back about the technical problems yet, but I assume I should get credit for this seeing that the professor has been very understanding.

The thing that drives me crazy about math is that there is only one precise answer.

And if you made a tiny mistake somewhere, you won’t know where or why as especially in online homework software, it only tells you that the answer is incorrect. It’s all or nothing. Partial credit is zero credit.

On daily homework assignments, this is something I can figure out with enough attempts, or asking for help. On tests and quizzes, it becomes psychological bargaining as I have to make a quick decision to either invest time in that problem, if there is a point total for that question, to calculate and decide whether I should skip it, work on the following questions, and return, and if it’s worth the current effort/stress. Without knowing if your work is correct.

Why is statistics personal? It killed my father.

Of course, this is a niche dark joke riffing on the famous Darth Vader line from The Empire Strikes Back. As Obi-Wan lied and said that Darth Vader killed Luke’s father, the only way statistics actually killed my father was because of the inevitable power of math. My dads constant terrible choices due to alcoholism and an unmaintained van, caused his end. Dad failed statistics and did not achieve his college degree because he didn’t do everything he could to pass the college level class.

I learned from Obi-Mom(wan) last Tuesday when we had an impromtu family dinner party because my Cousin and niece were in town, that the reason my Dad never got his bachelors degree was that he failed college statistics. Failed and never gave it a second shot.

Therefore, Obi-Mom never told me that Statistics killed my father.

Statistics is my father.

…Whoops. I forgot to search my feelings for the truth.

My Father failed statistics. It didn’t kill him or is my father.

I just need to work harder to pass the class.

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I took my midterm exam yesterday for the class, and I felt I did well on it. We will see whether the dark side claims me too, or if I resist the temptation and slay the statistics emperor.

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