Reilly's blog

It’s 2025

A new year that I am not looking forward to. Why?

Because I feel like I am the same as last year.

I’m completely miserable with my life and feel unable to make the changes necessary to be satisfied with life.

Lately, I’ve realized that I don’t have anyone offline to talk about things. My social life is nonexistent, and I’ve felt isolated from the world. I’ve been deeply craving physical intimacy and romantic connection and badly want a girlfriend in my life.

At the same time, I haven’t felt worthy or attractive enough to be able to find a nice lady.

I understand why I’m still single. I rarely leave the house, just for Magic events, work, and school. And with the last one, in-person interactions have been spotty.

Even without all that, I don’t feel as if I deserve a relationship.

The college Winter quarter begins today

I’m taking two classes, beginner piano, and Chemistry. Both classes will be in person at the college, with Piano being two days a week for 90 minutes each, and one long three-hour laboratory on Wednesday for Chemistry.

I’m not sure what to think of either class yet, but I’ve always enjoyed Science and wanted to learn to play the piano.

It will be so nice to regularly get out of the house and be around classmates.

I dread what’s to come this year.

The shock I had from the election in November has returned as reality hits.

The future is going to be stressful and depressing. It’s like the beginning of WW2 with Germany descending into a fascist (or Rome, Italy, Japan, government, but it’s in America. If you’re a history buff like I used to be, you’d know that administrations like the one to come won’t leave peacefully. They won’t be here for just four years. Anyone different is a threat. It’s terrifying.

History does rhyme.

---