Tag Archives: Recipes

Canna Butter Get a Break?

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Picture of a large bag of legal weed. Eyes drawn on a hole in the bag making a funny face.
I can’t believe it’s not butter!

Cannabutter (or in this case, since I have a dairy sensitivity and will be using non dairy Margarine, CannaMargarine… Marijuanagarine… Ganjagarine?). 🤷

This is a post about cannabis-infused butter… Aka: weed, kaya, ganja, or the slur “marijuana”.

Hi, my name is Reilly, and I have a college degree from a cooking school (an AAS) and five years of experience working in the restaurant industry. I have worked in the cannabis industry for 2+ years. Cannabutter (A compound word of cannabis and butter), also known as a cannabis compound butter, is a crucial recipe to master for edibles and as a sauce for food. While you could use this as a traditional compound butter, I wouldn’t recommend it since I don’t care for the taste of decarbed weed. More on that term later. Cannabutter is far more effective than the flavor since cooking evaporates the terpenes (the tasty and aromatic compounds) in the cannabis.

In this recipe, I will substitute Earthbound brand Vegetable Oil Spread instead of butter because I am dairy sensitive. This product is vegan and a good 1-to-1 substitute for butter, in my experience. (I am not being sponsored by this brand. I wish I were…)

Song of the post: Mary Jane by Rick James

Washington state Retail cannabis warning label: There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Should not be used by women that are pregnant or breast feeding. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of reach of children. Cannabis can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Warning: this product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health.
Source

This recipe is for adults of legal consumption age, age 21 here in Washington State USA. The information in this recipe is informational only for places where Cannabis isn’t legal.

Cannabutter

  • 16 oz Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks
  • 16 oz water
  • 28 grams cannabis (my guess, scale broke.)

Total recipe cooking time: 130 minutes.

Cooling time: on counter– 1 hour. In fridge, about 6 hours or overnight.

Equipment

  • 1 baking sheet.
  • Parchment paper for your baking sheet.
  • 1 large saucepan.
  • Optional: 1-liter French press.
  • 1 8×8 glass 2-quart pyrex baking dish.
  • 1 spatula.
  • 1 thermometer.
  • 1 oven/stovetop.
  • 1 refrigerator.
  • 4 cup fine mesh strainer.

TLDR: a blog post instructions:

(Aka Too long didn’t read)

  • Step 1: Grind or breakdown your cannabis into small pieces, no bigger than a pea. Spread it evenly on a parchment covered baking sheet.
  • Step 2: Bake in a 240 degree Fahrenheit oven for 40 minutes. It should be a golden brown color with a strong cannabis aroma. Put aside for a moment.
  • Step 3: Measure 2 cups water into a sauce pan and put it on the stove on medium low. Add your butter and let it completely melt. Be sure to not allow this to go over 220 degrees Fahrenheit. Check temperature with a thermometer.
  • Step 4: Scrape the baked cannabis into the butter mixture and stir gently with a spatula to be sure the cannabis is mixed in.
  • Step 5: Simmer on medium low for 90 minutes, coming back every 20 minutes or so to check the temperature and to stir the mixture.
  • Step 6: Pour and strain mixture into a pyrex glass pan. Ideally you want as little solid material as possible. Allow to cool to room temperature before putting in the fridge overnight to cool.
  • Step 7: Remove the solid top layer of Cannabutter from the pyrex pan, and discard the liquid below the fat.
  • Step 8: Store for later use by putting it in the fridge, or use right away!

Consume Responsibly.

Extended version of recipe, SEO friendly with commentary:

Since my kitchen scale chose today to break… I am not sure how much weed is in this bowl.

A 1 cup glass bowl of various cannabis buds. From a horizontal perspective.

My guess is about a 14 to 28 grams. This bowl usually holds about a cup of dried cereal or liquid. And this is a mix of several cannabis strains. (Which is proof that I have really cut down on my weed consumption.)

Step 1 and 2: Grind and bake your cannabis.

To begin, we will be baking our cannabis to convert the THCA to THC by roasting it in the oven at 240 F for 40 minutes.

This is a necessary step to activate our cannabis. The key is to slowly roast the ground cannabis to golden brown. We do so with a lower temperature, 240 degrees Fahrenheit, for 40 minutes.

In scientific terms, this is called decarboxylation.

Decarboxylation is a chemical reaction that removes a carboxyl group and releases carbon dioxide (CO2). Usually, decarboxylation refers to a reaction of carboxylic acids, removing a carbon atom from a carbon chain. The reverse process, which is the first chemical step in photosynthesis, is called carboxylation, the addition of CO2 to a compound. Enzymes that catalyze decarboxylations are called decarboxylases or, the more formal term, carboxy-lyases (EC number 4.1.1).

Source
Cannabis ground into small pieces. To be Decarboxylated by baking in a 240 degree Fahrenheit oven.
Before baking
Cannabis ground into small pieces. This is after baking for 40 minutes at 240 degrees Fahrenheit.
After baking

Add the activated cannabis buds to the butter on the stove top.

Next, we will be adding the activated cannabis from the sheet pan to the saucepan on the stove top. Turn the heat to a low simmer. The ideal temperature is a simmer, which is 190 F to 210 F.

Step 3: Simmer on low for 90 minutes.

1 pound or 4 sticks of Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks in a sauce pan melting in 16oz water.
1 pound Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks in 16oz water
Melted Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks in 16oz water
Melted Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks in 16oz water
Activated cannabis in Melted Earth Bound Vegan Buttery Sticks.
A picture of the activated cannabis in the “butter”
This is what your finished cannabutter will look like.
This is what your finished cannabutter will look like after 90 minutes simmering.
The steps of simmering the baked cannabis and butter.

Step 4: Strain? Cool. Then Netflix and Chill

Picture 1 of 2 of Cannabutter before it is strained of solids through a French Press.
Most recipes call to use cheesecloth. I got the idea to use my French press instead .
Picture 2 of 2, of Cannabutter before it is strained of solids through a French Press.
Couldn’t fit all the cannabutter liquid in one run.
Just for good measure to get all of the solids out, use a fine mesh strainer.
Picture of strained cannabis solids in a fine mesh strainer.
This is why you double strain.
Top down photo of the strained cannabutter in a glass pyrex pan.
Top down photo of the strained cannabutter
Side view photo of the strained cannabutter in a glass pyrex pan on my kitchen counter.
Side view photo of the strained cannabutter

This long trip is almost over. Now, we will be straining the solids from the butter and allowing it to cool. This will take an hour to cool on your counter to reach room temperature. After that a couple more hours before the fats solidify and we separate that to have our finished cannabutter.

Note: you don’t want to save any of the strained cannabis solids. It tastes awful, and all of the desired psychoactive compounds have been absorbed by the butter fats after all this cooking. Don’t feel bad about throwing it away in your food waste.

The final products, rolled into a log wrapped in plastic, stored in a zip lock bag.

Step 420: Get Baked.

Finally the trip you’ve been patiently waiting for. You can use this Cannabutter as the fat or butter in any cooking recipe, though I recommend using it in baked goods or something with a dominant flavor because this does have its own flavor.

Which is someplace between spent matcha tea and asparagus. Edit a month after I first wrote this: it made me gag trying to eat it straight up. It’s acceptable in edibles, and not too bad added to a strong flavored tea or coffee.

Warning: Whenever consuming edibles, be patient and wait 1-2 hours between doses. 1 dose may last several hours. Consume responsibly.

Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls

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Pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls in pyrex pan

I started this post last year and didn’t post it because I felt I missed the best time to post it… Because I made them right before Halloween. While delicious and great any time of year, the Pumpkin spice season peaks in October. It’s November… Whatever lol. Without ado, I present Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls. This recipe is a modified version of a common cinnamon roll recipe. The difference in the dough is about twice as much flour and an additional 1/4 cup of Sukrin Gold – Natural Brown 1:1 Sugar Substitute to compensate for the canned pumpkin and spices. The number of spices may look too much, but it’s intentional. I like bold flavors, and spices are the best part. This is truly one of the greatest recipes I have come up with on my own.

Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls

I just saw this morning as I was editing this post and did some google searches. What hilarious timing!

@lizzo

Ima tweet about this remix lol

♬ Ima need a cinnamon roll – Judith Rupp

Dough Ingredients:

-Dry ingredients –

  • 5 cups flour
  • 2T ground cinnamon
  • 2 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1t ground allspice
  • 2tsp cloves
  • 1 T ground ginger
  • 2 T yeast
  • 1 T salt
  • Wet Ingredients –
  • 3T butter or Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 14 Oz pumpkin puree (Note 14oz out of 15oz total from the can)
  • 3/4 cup Sukrin Gold – Natural Brown 1:1 Sugar Substitute
  • 1 egg
  • 1T vanilla extract

Cinnamon-Pumpkin Spice Filling:

  • 3T ground cinnamon
  • 2 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1t ground allspice
  • 2tsp cloves
  • 1 T ground ginger
  • 1 T salt
  • 2T vanilla extract
  • 6oz or 1.5 sticks of Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks
  • 3/4 cup Sukrin Gold – Natural Brown 1:1 Sugar Substitute

Pumpkin Frosting:

  • 1/2 cup confectioners monk fruit sugar
  • 1 oz pumpkin puree
  • 1 T almond milk

The process:

The core flavors of the rolls... Pumpkin puree, allspice, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger.
The core flavors of the rolls… Pumpkin puree, allspice, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger.

Step 1:

Grind your spices. Freshly ground spices, ground to a fine powder. It takes 1-2 minutes, but worth it. A good electric grinder achieves this.

In a large bowl, or in a Kitchen Aid mixer, combine the flour, spices, salt, yeast and sugar and whisk together so the dry ingredients are blended together. Which will look something like this:

Blend the spices with the dry goods so it is evenly combined.
Picture of the starting stages of pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls
Step 2: Using the hook attachment on your kitchen aid blender, add the wet goods to he dry. Mix on low until the dough comes together in a sticky mass, then turn to medium speed for about 5 minutes. This is to build gluten in the dough and create its texture.
picture of cinnamon roll dough in the bowl before it the rising step.
Step 3: This is the texture you are aiming for. It is sticky to your fingers, and a solid but sticky mass that is one piece. Make sure to scrape the sides with a spatula and roll it into a ball. Place the dough back into the bowl and cover with a clean towel.
Picture of a kitchen aid bowl with rising cinnamon roll dough in a warm oven with a towel covering it.
Step 4: Place your dough in bowl in a warm place or 100 degree oven (like a warm summer day if you put your hand in the open oven.) for the dough to rise and double in size.
pumpkin spice cinnamon roll dough doubled in size in a kitchen air bowl.
Step 5: Check your dough. This is what it will look like doubled in size or risen.
Picture of flour strewn on a table as a step to kneading cinnamon roll dough.
Step 6: Prepare a space to work your dough to knead.
Picture of dough on floured table.
Step 7: Roll out your dough. I use a rolling pin that I run with flour, and sprinkle flour on the top of the dough to help it from sticking to the table or rolling pin. This is a sticky dough so be generous with the flour.
Picture of spread out cinnamon roll dough and the spice syrup spread.
Step 8: Roll your dough out into a large square shape about the dimensions of a square sheet pan that is about 1 inch tall.
Cinnamon roll spread syrup. Earth balance vegan buttery sticks, sukrin gold sugar substitute, vanilla extract, spices.
Step 9: Melt the Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks in a microwave. Combine with the spices, vanilla extract and Sukrin gold and whisk it until it combined. I let the filling sit while working the dough to give the spices time to infuse into the fat. This is different from most cinnamon roll recipes which separate the butter sugars and spices. It will look a little loose. That’s okay. Simply stir it again real quick before applying to the dough in the next step.
Picture of pumpkin spice filling spread evenly on rolled out dough on a floured table.
Step 10: Spread the filling. You want to leave 2 inches on the edges.
Picture of a rolled up pumpkin spice cinnamon roll roll before it is divided.
Step 11: Roll up the roll.
How to roll a cinnamon roll in gif form
Step 11.5: How to roll a cinnamon roll in gif form that I found online.
Slice the roll into 12 equal pieces https://www.southernliving.com/thmb/eQnDHDw8LcUdsOybqnbOpMd1E6Y=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/Cinnamon_Rolls_024-8160f1dd17bf49638f9bc1c410daab5a.jpg
Step 12: Not my picture. Forgot to take one. Divide the dough into 12 pieces.
Picture of pumkin spice cinnamon rolls in a greased pyrex pan before they are to be baked.
Step 13: Spray your pyrex pan with nonstick spray (or brush with cooking oil), then carefully place each piece of the roll in it. Bake at 350 degrees for at least 22 minutes or an internal temp of 200 degrees F.
Cooked Pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls right out of the oven.
Step 14: remove from the oven to cool. It is hard, but be sure to wait at least 20 minutes!
Picture of a hand poking the pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls for the baked texture. A quality check.
Step 15: Check the texture by poking a roll. It should have a springy texture. You can also use a thermometer. Tee temperature should be no more than 200 degrees. Allow to cool to room temperature before applying glaze!
The pumpkin glaze for the rolls in a kitchen aid mixer bowl.
Step 16: While the rolls are cooling, Make the glaze. Combine the powdered monk fruit, the vanilla extract and the canned pumpkin to the kitchen aid. You will have to wash the bowl before blending the ingredients with the whisk attachment. It is done when there are no lumps.
Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls with glaze applied in the pan.
Step 17: Apply the glaze with a brush evenly across the top of the rolls.
Picture of a finished Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Roll on a plate.
Serve and enjoy!

Post recipe reflections

I really should start making videos of recipes…

Thank you for reading this post! If you enjoyed this, please let me know below in the comments! If you made this, please let me know what you think! You can subscribe to the blog below. And you can check out previous recipes and cooking-related posts below!

Copyright Reilly Anderson 2022.

Jamaican Jerk Pork in an oven

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Cooked Jamaican Jerk Pork in pyrex pan
This is after the pork cooled, and I forgot to take a picture before shredding it.

Jamaican Jerk Pork

Prep time 10 minutes.

Marinate for at least 1 day. I didn’t have time to wait another day this time, and it was still delicious.

Cooking time 90 minutes.

Jerk Marinade

  • 2.5 pounds pork shoulder

Marinade spices

  • 1/4 cup whole Allspice
  • 1T fresh thyme
  • 2T salt
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 2 T smoked paprika
  • 1 T black pepper

Add the allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, black pepper, smoked paprika, and salt into an electric grinder. Remove the thyme leaves from the stems. Toss the stems. Add thyme to grinder. Grind to a fine powder.

Picture of spices in grinder
Before grinding. I added the smoked paprika later in the wet ingredients
Picture of jerk spice mix
After grinding. This is the consistency you want for the jerk seasoning. This is without the smoked paprika.

Marinade liquids:

  • 1 cup apple cider vinegar
  • 1/3 cup minced garlic
  • 1/3 cup minced ginger
  • 1/4 cup habanero hot sauce.
  • *Further hot sauce to your spicy food tolerance. This recipe would be 3/5 stars at a restaurant*
Picture of wet spices for marinade
All 5 of these hot sauces combined to 1/4 cup. 4 of these had habanero pepper as it’s pepper.

Add all the liquids into a quart glass measuring cup, and add the ground spices. Mix together. Next, pour the marinade into a plastic Ziploc bag with the pork. Put that bag into a larger container to prevent spills or cross contamination. Marinate in the fridge for 24 hours minimum.

Jerk Marinade and pork.
Jamaican Jerk pork marinating in a ziplock bag
Jamaican Jerk pork in the marinade before it is cooked.


Pour the marinade and pork into the glass pan. The liquid marinade will reduce as this cooks.

Oven shot of Jamaican Jerk Pork, and baked root vegetables
I suggest moving the rack down one layer. I didn’t check before I turned the oven on. The bottom rack is a future recipe 😉

Turn oven down to 370 F for 60 minutes. Or until the internal temperature reaches 180F. Pork shoulder meat should easily pull apart with forks or melt apart when finished.

Picture of Jamaican Jerk chicken in a pyrex pan
This is after the pork cooled, and I forgot to take a picture before shredding it.

Allow to cool for 10 minutes before eating.

I am totally adding Jerk Pork to my favorites list. Apparently you can use these seasonings with most meat/proteins. Jerk seasonings are versatile.

I only wish I bought more than 2.5 pounds of pork. Oh well, I’ll have to cook it again! 😋

Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think in the comments! I’ve been meaning to post more recipes and I have 9 more left as a goal for October.

2 minute melted marshmallows with Heath bits topping bowl

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2 minute melted marshmallows with Heath bar toffee bits.

Ingredients:

9 large marshmallows;

1/3 cup Heath bar toffee bits.

Microwaveable bowl

Instructions:

Place 9 marshmallows in a microwaveable bowl.

Microwave on high for 25-30 seconds.

You want them to double in size like a fluffy white cloud.

Pour the 1/4 cup of Heath bar bits, and enjoy! I recommend using a spoon.

It’s a gooey, sexy dessert. The joy of eating melted warm marshmallows! 😋

Comfort Eating…

I’ve been turning to food for comfort lately. So much has changed recently. I didn’t realize how much stress I was under until I talked to a nurse after she told me my covid test was negative. I’m in utter shock how much I’ve changed since a year ago. I feel like I have entered a new, wonderful era of my life. I’m worried because I’m trying to be mindful and accept all these positive feelings of love, and to stay realistic. Holy shit I have a girlfriend. She likes me as much as I like her. She want to see me as much as I do her. Both of us wary of coronavirus. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Being apart from my girl is torture. The vaccine can’t arrive soon enough… Never thought love would feel so good. Finally its the right time, the right person, the right me. Wow!

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Chicken Adobo for the soul

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Chicken Adobo with sauteed Bok Choy and Jasmine rice.

Last week I wrote how I felt burned out, despite my life being really privileged and easy compared to others. Coming into 2020, my goals were to continue my journey of personal transformation into the person I want to be. It’s been a difficult year for all of us in the world. Corona virus or not, that is life. I am discovering the things I need to work on, and building on my strengths. This doesn’t end for any of us. So, in order to continue to grow, I’m going back to what I am good at, which is cooking. Like walking, everyone has to learn how to cook. Despite growing up in a family of cooks, I wasn’t interested in it until after high school. Until I was 19, all I knew with cooking was: baking cookies, and making chili. Chicken Adobo was one of the first things I learned in college from my fellow Filipino classmates. This recipe is a comfort food, and delicious any time of the year. Without further ado, here is my recipe for Chicken Adobo (because I know I’m annoyed when people have a personal story before a recipe) :

Chicken Adobo:

Six Servings, Cooking time: 90 minutes.

  • (Metric to imperial notes: 2oz is 1/4 cup; 8oz is 1 cup; 15ml is 1 tablespoon)
  • 3 pounds chicken thighs, skin on;
  • 2oz sunflower oil;
  • 2 large onions, about 1 pound weight, sliced;
  • 2oz grated ginger
  • 2oz minced garlic
  • 8oz soy sauce
  • 8oz apple cider vinegar
  • 4oz apple cider vinegar (Added at the end to hit the right sour notes)
  • 1 quart chicken stock
  • 4oz water
  • 15ml Sriacha hot sauce
  • 15ml chili paste
  • 30 ml fresh ground black pepper
  • 30ml kosher salt
  • 30ml black peppercorns
  • 3oz packed brown sugar
  • 2 bay leaves
  • The juice and flesh of 1/2 lime. (Added in at the end with the 4oz apple cider vinegar)

Nutrition facts label

Source

Start by sprinkling the kosher salt and ground black pepper on one side of the chicken thighs. In a large pot pour in the oil, and set the heat to high.

In the middle of sprinkling the kosher salt on the chicken thighs.
The chicken thighs seasoned on one side. I find it useful to do this while they’re in the package.

Place the seasoned Chicken thighs side down into the hot pan. Carefully place each thigh in the pan with tongs. You want to leave a little space between as seen below so the facedown side is browned. This step is to build flavor from the browned skin.

You want the cooking oil to be so hot that smoke rises. This is what you want to see in the pan after carefully placing the seasoned Chicken in. Note if you place the chicken in with your hands, wash them!

Once the chicken is in the pot, season the other side with the kosher salt and ground black pepper. Cook on high for 8-10 minutes.

While the chicken is cooking, cut the vegetables.

Continued on page 2…

Pages: 1 2 3 4

Brownies for a friend

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Slice of delicious Brownies.

Photo from the brownie batch I made for myself earlier in the week.

Brownies

3 cups almond flour (if substituting for regular flour, use 2 cups)

4oz butter (or one stick)

1 cup cocoa powder (The quality of your cocoa powder makes the difference in how tasty your brownies are. I haven’t found a cocoa powder as good as this one yet… https://amzn.to/3gYL6a9

3 whole eggs (2 if using regular flour. Almond flour needs an extra egg in the recipe to have the same consistency)

1 cup chocolate chips

1.5 tsp salt

1 cup sugar

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

Pinch cayenne pepper

Equipment needed: A whisk, a spatula, mixing bowls, glass 8×8 pyrex pan, a metal pan if using stove melting method.

Start by combing the almond flour, salt, cayenne, and cocoa powder into a mixing bowl.
Mix together with a whisk, or fork.
It needs to look close to this to be mixed properly. It’s okay if there are little chunks of cocoa powder. Mixing properly ensures that the brownies turn out.
Add the eggs,sugar, and vanilla extract into a bowl, and vigorously whip them with a fork or whisk. Unrelated, but also included in the pictured… A dirty cutting board from cooking dinner, and 70% isopropyl alcohol for cleaning.
This is the consistency you are looking for your egg mixture to be after whipping. It should run in a stream like this when lifted from your mixing instrument, in this case a fork.
Add the chocolate chips and butter into a pan on the stove on low heat. The goal is to emulsify the butter and chocolate into a new mixture. You can also do this in a microwave. If you done in a microwave, slowly heat in 20 second increments, stir, then melt another 20 seconds, stir, until it is the same consistency as this picture. Low and slow melting is the goal.
Pour the egg-sugar-vanilla mixture, and the chocolate-butter mix (also called a ganache!) into the center of the bowl of dry ingredients.
Mix the shit out of it with a spatula. Note: if using regular flour, you must be careful of over mixing as the gluten in flour changes the process. Almond flour doesn’t have gluten so you don’t have to worry about this.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F, or 176 C. This is the batter partially mixed.
Your brownie batter should look like this when fully mixed. Before spooning it into the Glass Pyrex pan, spray the Pyrex with nonstick oil spray.
Spread the batter around the pan with your spatula. This is how it looks when ready. Bake in your oven for 45 minutes at 350F/176C
This is how they look, hot out of the oven. To tell if they are ready, poke the center with a toothpick or thermometer, and it it comes out clean, they’re ready. It’s okay if it has cracks like this. Once cooled the cracks should recede. Its important that you allow the brownies to cool for a minimum of 1 hour. Almond flour brownies are much more delicate hot and will fall apart if not given enough time to cool. Its hell when they smell so good, but patience is key.
Money shot at my computer desk of the finished brownies.

A look into America this week…

My neighbors tribute outside her house to George Floyd.

As American as….

    I first must acknowledge that I despise the current format for recipes rewarded by google in food blogs, so I’ll leave this entry after the recipe for those interested in reading it. Gimme the damn recipe, not your story about it. Put it after the recipe. So I will, even if I get less views. Be the change you want to see in the world. I apologize for being two days late on this post.

As a white man of privilege on the autistic spectrum, I only know a little bit about being an outsider, to be considered different from society. I’ll never know what it feels like to be a person of color in America. I’ve been absolutely ashamed and disgusted at America since 2016. Growing up, it seemed like things were finally getting better for everyone in this country. I thought the future was finally here in 2008 when our first black president, Barack Obama was elected. That change was finally on the way. Like many progressives on the left, I was disgusted at the outcome of 2016’s election with POTUS 45. I never thought things would be this bad. 

I’m 34, so the first election I could vote in was in 2004 with Bush v Kerry. I didn’t agree with George W Bush’s policies, but at least he cared about America. At Least he considered the voices of everyone, and reached across the aisle when things got tough. POTUS 45 never  has given a fuck about anything other than himself since 2016. Republicans took their masks off, and fell in line treating him like a king. This is a direct attack to the very soul of being American. Our country is built upon protesting the King of England, “No taxation without representation!” Where the hell is the representation? Seems rich old white men continue to rule the world, while everyone else is supposed to beg for scraps with the government. 

Image source: https://wyrz.org/governor-mike-pence-directs-flags-flown-half-staff-statewide-honor-law-enforcement-officers-killed-dallas-shootings/ Thanks Pence, we can use this image to honor those brutalized by police too!

    “That’s one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong

This week I have been questioning how I can make an impact. How I can best use my voice to help those that are struggling. It felt like a weight too heavy to bear alone. So, after running into paths that led nowhere, I had to simplify things and recharge from this emotional ride this week. I felt like I had to be there for my family and friends. I didn’t know what to do, thoughts racing, feeling paranoid even going outside at night past curfew to smoke so I could even sleep… When every other self care method I used wasn’t working. I realized that I was overwhelmed by PTSD from this traumatic week. I needed to recharge. Making decisions while angry isn’t productive if you aren’t able to use your anger in a healthy way. 

Sometimes, the answer to what to do is right in front of you. My answer to all this is: Meditation, cooking, music, and anime. All of which are cultural symbols from across the world. I’ve learned from meditation that you can always close your eyes and focus on breathing to calm yourself. To clear your mind of  thoughts. It is our ultimate privilege as the living. Nothing made this more apparent than the murder of George Floyd. Unfortunately kneeing a person on the neck is common practice by police across America, as demonstrated as the protests amped up and police brutality escalated by the worst departments such as the Seattle Police Department.  Maybe all this suffering will finally lead to an overhaul of the American police system. November can’t come soon enough. While dumping the current POTUS will greatly help, even more important is to vote in your local elections. Change starts at the local level, and every vote counts. As broken as voting for president is, it’s still effective in enacting change at the local level. Vote!

Voting info below:

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