Tag Archives: 2020

2020’s Last Impression.

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2020:

January: The beginning of the end

I hit my goal of working for at least a year at one workplace. Despite all the friends I made there, it was time for a change. At the end of the month, the company closed and everyone was laid off. I’m glad I worked there, and grateful for all the friends made there.

About 5# of cannabis sugar leaf to be ground into a fine ground product for joints.
What it looks like to receive weed at a legal weed company.
The last one was a joke meme I posted at work. Everyone got sick at work in January. Thankfully it wasn’t covid…

February: Where one door Slams shut, others open.

Old friendships end in an awful way. I never did end up apologizing to that person. I wish I said “I’m Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I won’t enter your house again, or bother you again.” It’s best we went our own ways. “Sometimes it’s best to leave a relationship broken, than picking up the pieces and hurt yourself. I had to face reality and move on.”

I wasn’t alone anymore because the truth set me free. There was no way for me to continue on like none of this happened. That end marked new chapters with new friends.

March: the Pandemic Saga begins

I was pretty useless in March this past year. I was heartbroken from the rejection-breakup. I had to reevaluate my entire life and life choices because of that loss. I was grieving the death of my 18 year old kitty from December 2019, I was grieving being laid off from a job I liked. It was extremely stressful at home as Mom and I adjusted to being around each other all day at home. I had a nervous breakdown on day two of a new job at the end of February and had to quit that job. I felt suicidal… This time I asked for help from Mom and I went to the hospital. Because of this difficult experience, the psychiatrist there pointed me to the right help. At home, I lived on the couch in comfortable pajamas, wrapped in a blanket. I split my time on the phone, or watching relationship and psychology videos on YouTube. I started seeing my current therapist in March, and started doing groups over zoom too. As of the date of this post, 12/31/20, I haven’t met my therapist in person yet. It’s been a weird year for therapy. Oh and I started this blog on 03/27/20!

April: Bargaining & Depression

Looking back in my journal, I was torturing myself with excessive blame and trying to right my sense of sanity. Worse yet I had to deal with all this grief in a pandemic world away from family and friends. Weekday zoom therapy groups became my social life.

May… More of the same

It was still early into my recovery phase. But this month produced two of my personal favorite blog posts this year:

https://theunknownreillyblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/01/blue-sparkly-shoes/

https://theunknownreillyblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/29/not-a-eulogy-a-letter-of-hope/

June: Comfort eating

Brownies, roses, poetry, and Anthony bourdain oh my!

https://theunknownreillyblog.wordpress.com/2020/06/07/brownies-for-a-friend/

July: The long summer part 1,2, and 3

August: The long summer parts 4,5, and 6.

September never ends: The long summer parts 7-10.

Gumpa passed away at age 92 in September.

October: part 1 of the 2020 election.

November: The election parts 2 & 3.

December: It doesn’t feel like the end.

Happy new year!

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Every blog post in 2020! Happy New year!

Distanced love

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Distanced love

I’m learning on the fly.

This is the first romantic relationship I’ve had. One where you are boyfriend and girlfriend.

I’m ecstatic, yet nervous.

It’s so easy, yet challenging as we adjust to each other.

Love in the time of covid is strange.

All our relationships are at a distance. All new relationships long distance.

We matched on Tinder. She liked my profile. Our relationship is alive through WhatsApp texting.

Chatting with a new person only over text is hard sometimes. I imagine it feels like it did in my grandparents generation, communicating over letters.

My grandparents on my mom’s side communicated over letters before meeting. My grandfather was drafted and in WW2. They eventually married when he proposed with a ring in a letter.

Online only interaction makes me crazy.

Coronavirus complicates traditional dating. In person is at 6 feet with masks on.

I’m worried because I’m falling hard, and it’s going well.

It’s hard to temper my feelings when I’m high off of the love.

On one hand, I’m glad this is slowly building. On the other I want to meet her and spend quality time together.

This is so much better than a crush, or an almost-not quite relationship.

I’ve been patient for so so long…

Tried so hard, didn’t get too far. Murphy’s law in action.

It’s hard to believe this bliss is real. Balancing optimistic and pessimistic thinking.

Must be nice to have faith and religion.

This will be my first romantic relationship at age 34. My previous efforts in vain. Not any more.

I feel like I’ve won the lottery.

In these dark days there is light.

Don’t forget about love.

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

I might have covid-19

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Get tested for Corona virus! Info here.

A few minutes ago, my coworker called me. He got news from the company we rent the commercial canning machine from that one of the employees tested positive for Covid-19. The risk for exposure is likely low, as everyone wore masks and because of how the machine is set up, we are always 6 feet or more away. When we do canning, the spot for the machine is well ventilated. On top of this, I have been really on top of washing my hands.

Tomorrow I’m going in for a test. It will be the second time I have tested this year. The first being a couple months ago just to be safe, and to further science. This time is for the real thing. The nurse at my doctors office said it takes about 5 days to get results after.

I haven’t had any symptoms yet, but since I last worked on Friday, I might not be showing symptoms yet. Here is the current information from the CDC:

Watch for symptoms

People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms to severe illness. Symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure to the virus. People with these symptoms may have COVID-19:

  • Fever or chills
  • Cough
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle or body aches
  • Headache
  • New loss of taste or smell
  • Sore throat
  • Congestion or runny nose
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Diarrhea

This list does not include all possible symptoms. CDC will continue to update this list as we learn more about COVID-19.

When to seek emergency medical attention

Look for emergency warning signs* for COVID-19. If someone is showing any of these signs, seek emergency medical care immediately:

  • Trouble breathing
  • Persistent pain or pressure in the chest
  • New confusion
  • Inability to wake or stay awake
  • Bluish lips or face

*This list is not all possible symptoms. Please call your medical provider for any other symptoms that are severe or concerning to you.

Call 911 or call ahead to your local emergency facility: Notify the operator that you are seeking care for someone who has or may have COVID-19.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

This is why you wear a mask, and distance from people. I’ve done everything right, and potentially still might have it.

How to properly wear a mask:

source

How to properly wash your hands:

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

My 2020 in Spotify

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All image rights belong to Spotify. Source

Every year, Spotify, my choice of music app, gives every user a playlist of the top 100 songs you listened to over the year. Until now, it’s been a neat bonus to see how you were feeling in that year. Whenever I’m in a nostalgic mood, I like to turn on the lists I have from 2017, 2018, and now 2019. 2020 was crazy in the US, and the world with the Corona virus pandemic. So, I’ve been waiting to listen to this since March. It’s cool that Spotify gives you this for December.

I’ve never had a year like 2020. On one hand, a large portion of this year was utter hell for me. Going through an ugly friendship breakup in an ordinary year is hard enough. This in a pandemic year where you can’t visit friends or family, can’t safely go out and do social activities, and everything is online has to be a layer of hell. Despite all the bad, I feel looking back that this will be a positive year.

On the other hand, because I finally got the support from therapy, I’ve had great personal growth. I still don’t feel like I have my shit together, but hey, progress is progress. I have been working on my problems this year, and not been a total potato while unemployed. Nothing like being laid off, and the world shutting down 2 months later. Thankfully I got unemployment. At this point, life is one day at a time.

On initial glance of this list because I just discovered this list today, my impressions are: Nostalgic, wistful, angry, depressed, heartbreak, Chillin, Shock, delusions, glimpses of a new life.

This playlist might as well be a glimpse into my soul.

My life on Spotify, summed in 6 hours, 58 minutes. While I doubt anyone will listen to all 7 hours, hopefully I can introduce a new song or two you haven’t heard before. Anyway here’s my Spotify top 100 of the year:

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.