Category Archives: memes

7 ways seeking entry level/minimum wage jobs is crazy!

Source

“AKA Entry level jobs”

We need to talk. Let’s get one thing straight. A work relationship is a conditional relationship. Which means that this is an agreement to meet both of needs based on the conditions of the job, and mutual matching needs of the employee and employer. I am not your friend, though if everything goes well, maybe in the future after the employer-employee relationship is over. We are not family. Nobody growing up said that their “passion” is to work a minimum wage job. At best you are a transient stepping stone to a better career.

Fuck you for requiring a bachelors degree for entry level pay. I am fortunate at this time to not have any college debt because my first degree was a trade school for Culinary arts at a community college. I was lucky to get grants to pay for it. According to a Forbes article from 02/03/2020, the average student loan debt is: “for members of the Class of 2018 is $29,200, a 2% increase from the prior year, according to the Institute for College Access and Success.” It’s hard to pay so many bills when you start from behind, and that doesn’t include credit card debt, rent, or basic expenses. Its really hard to get by on minimum wage. In fact:

Every $1 increase in minimum wage decreases suicide rate by up to 6%

https://www.zmescience.com/science/minimum-wage-suicide-link-04233/

Modern Job post bullshit:

No, I don’t want to work a flexible schedule, or be open to working 7 days a week. This is code for split days off. Humans thrive on routine, not chaos. This affects my work production because I have no time to fully unwind. Because I’m exhausted from working, and can’t make plans. I want a life outside of work, and I can’t do that without a predictable schedule. So no, I will not commit to a place I have to be at 7 days a week on call, when you won’t respect your employees basic needs. This is a privilege only for my family, loved ones, and dear friends. No I won’t work holidays. I don’t care if you pay time and a half. I’ll never have that time back with my family and friends. The CEO isn’t working and is off.

Flexible.

Clo-open

No I won’t work a closing shift followed by an opening morning shift, otherwise known as “Clopen”. I used to work in the restaurant industry and did this for a bit, and never want to again. The fact that this is still legal is appalling. I might as well be working 16 hours straight. I’d rather work 16 hours and have a day off after than do this bullshit. I have to go home and somehow make due with maybe 6 hours of sleep after getting home at 2am… While you want me there at 9 am for the morning shift. of course I’ve never seen you work this shift boss. The only people who do this are those vulnerable immigrants who make these jobs possible. Who are desperate for any kind of work because American society won’t give them a fair chance at citizenship. They can’t complain about being paid under the table, or make less than minimum wage while doing the hardest jobs, being the hardest working people I have ever met. They can’t complain because they will be deported. That is an abusive relationship, and employers who further this are enabling this abuse for profit.

Source from reddit

On overtime…

No I don’t want to work overtime. Not for time and a half minimum wage pay. (I’ve done this once before when I had a good paying job as a truck driver and it was too much. I didn’t have a social life because work was so unsuitable) For many people at the bottom, this isn’t a choice because they need to pay bills. I have and want a life outside of work. Required overtime at entry level might as well mean “disposable, replaceable employees”. In some industries you are competing with unpaid interns from college.

Any “profit” made from the time and a half is negated because I’ll have to eat out to get a decent meal. Because I often don’t have time to plan ahead because of your last minute schedule change.


Fast paced? Fast pass.

Fast paced work environment and multitasking? Get a robot. Pass.

“Willing to assume additional responsibility” Sure as long as you are willing to pay additional money.

“Outgoing personality” This isn’t a customer service job. I know because I’m not suited for that type of work, and filtered those posts out on indeed. Stop burying this requirement halfway down the post. It’s dishonest at worst, and wasting everyone’s time at best. Everyone can’t do every job, that is being human. This is discrimination against introverts.

Team player

I am only a team player because it’s not a choice. I’m curious which “team player” from which sport you are referring to. If this is any of the big American professional sports, this means you will cut me from the team whenever I get too expensive while you draft a replacement for pennies. Glad to know you will be playing by the rules of a team owner billionaire. Meanwhile my “coaches” will be finding ways to screw the players over so they can maybe make more money.

I feel like the Center lineman in team play or groups.

Honestly employers need to stop putting this in job descriptions. What it translates to in real life is: “I as an employee will sacrifice my dignity and time so the business thrives while I am paid the same amount.” None of us are pro athletes. It’s get along with strangers or lose your job. I get along with people and work well with others. It’s insulting to have this pointed out so much in postings. Do people really not know this? 🤔


You are not my friend or family.

Management: you are not my friend or my family because this is a conditional relationship. We employees are here for the money and the benefits you provide to pay bills. This is an “at will” State. Which means you can fire employees if we mess up too much (valid) or you don’t like us. That’s it. Yeah, there is the rare unicorn who does this as a “passion”. They’d do it for free either way. It would be like paying a crackhead to get high every day. (Coworker friends are awesome!)

10k life insurance policy? Glad to know my death is only worth the value of a used car. Which the insurance company will be fighting 24/7 to not pay out because they too only care about money over humans. I’ll be missed at work until you find someone new to hire in a week.


“Customer service”

“With a commitment to delighting customers”. I didn’t realize prostitution had a job description. I know Amazon wants to take over the world, then take over Mars, but I didn’t realize their next move was into prostitution. Not that surprising based on how they treat their low level workers. I haven’t had a prostitute relationship before, and don’t really want to have one, but I know what to expect from them. Which is being honest communicators because they know it’s a transactional relationship.

See if you can guess what this Amazon job posting is for?

Actual phrases used in an amazon job:

  • High School or equivalent diploma
  • 1+ years experience in a retail or customer facing environment
  • Candidates must be at least 18 years of age
  • Amazon does not sponsor for immigration, including for H-1B, TN, and other non-immigrant visas, for this role.
  • **This is a flex time position, averaging 0-19 hours/week**
  • unique, physical extension of Amazon.com, unique in-store shopping experience where customers can discover the next product they’ll love and interact with our knowledgeable and engaging associate. (Nothing like the combination of a prostitute and MLM seller all in one. I doubt people who go to sex workers want to buy tupperware.)
  • You are flexible while working in an ambiguous environment with strong attention to detail, possess the ability to quickly prioritize tasks, collaborate, multi-task, (Flexible in an ambigous environment and collaborate/multitask with customers? ….So kinky sex in a back alley? LOL)
  • e a willingness and enjoy learning new things, with a commitment to delighting our customers.
  • help identify customer needs and exercise great judgement in handling requests or difficult customer interactions. (Must have a happy ending, and handle their “needs” while not having a pimp as security)
  • facilitates discovery of anything Amazon has to offer including device demonstrations in a simple and accessible way. (Aka experimenting with sexuality and sex toys… Amazon prime brand)
  • Follow standard processes, identify opportunities for improvements and escalate when appropriate in a timely manner (lol)
  • Handle cash and provide accurate change to customers.
  • Must be able to work flexible hours including nights, weekends and holidays
  • You are comfortable working in a physical environment. You have the ability to lift up to 49 pounds and be on your feet for shifts lasting up to 10 hours at a time with or without reasonable accommodation

My guess is this classic song by Chef from South Park:

The actual job post.

All that said, I want to contribute to the world.

If you’ve been living in a cave without tv, internet or contact with the world, (and lets be real, most of us have all of those things) The world sucks.

The world has plenty of problems to solve, and it needs all the help it can get.

I don’t feel entitled to not work, or to not contribute to society. This year has felt like a sports off-season, where a team dumps all it’s players to rebuild it’s roster. To use a common sports idiom to describe my off-season mental journey… I’m in the best (mental/mature) shape of my life. So it’s my responsibility to have the best season(year) ever. I’m working every day to be the best person I can be. (…Or so I tell myself to psych myself up. Gotta be positive too! Every bit counts.)

I did the best I could at that time, sometimes life works out a certain way. Thankfully I am at peace that I need to constantly be working on myself. That’s life.

All I want is a job I can reasonably do, with reasonable livable pay, with consistent hours and possible health benefits. Where I can make a positive impact on the world, while having a life outside of work. Where I enjoy going into work everyday because I have a healthy work environment.

Since I started working at age 22, I’ve never had the right combinations of job fit, pay, hours, consistency, and healthy work environment at one job. I know perfection isn’t possible. I just want a reasonable compromise so the needs of my employer and me are met. I thought I finally found that for my job at clēēn:craft. It sucks that there’s no work because our great product didn’t sell. On to the next thing.

Picard all over again. Source.

And don’t even get me started on writing jobs that “Pay for exposure”… While they own all rights to the content you produce for them in perpetuity. AKA FOREVER. 🙄

George Carlin may be dead, but his material is timeless:


Sigh. Back to looking for entry level work while I figure out my long term work plan… At least I have a place to live, food, water, clothing, family and friends. And that I’m getting help from a Career Counselor through my therapist. I find a job that I like… and I’m laid off because the product doesn’t sell. So I have that going for me…


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!


So much for ever working another entry or minimum wage jobs after this post >_> 😅🤦‍♂️

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Reddit, we need to talk.

O RLY? The classic Oh really Owl Meme.
My favorite Meme of all time. Boy this shows my old man internet status! If I had to justify by bullshit for explaining why I like this meme its probably because it shares 3 letters with my first name. I’m such a narcissist lol. (Source)

This is a fictional satire of how I would break up with the website Reddit.com as if it was a real person. Clearly Reddit and I have some things to work on. Also, no I won’t post a picture of Reddit. It doesn’t need any more attention!

Reddit, we need to talk:

It’s time to break up. This relationship has almost been 6 years, but it’s over. I’ve become a different person, and I can’t live this way with you anymore. I can’t leave the house without you around. I’m ashamed to browse you around other people. I rarely see friends because you constantly want attention. This is an unhealthy relationship. We are Codependent. Yet, I’m never good enough for you. You are incredibly smart, and taught me so many interesting things such as history tidbits, psychology, science, and relationships that I’m in awe. However, you are also shallow, a vain narcissist who only cares what you give to it, yet has no sense of self.

You drive me crazy with your immaturity. Which is saying a lot because I’m what you call your biggest fans, a Neckbeard. (A slur for men online who are have nerdy interests and can have mental health problems.) Apparently that’s okay for you to insult me, while I burn to keep you warm. (An idiom I learned from you!) What does that say about you? That you want my attention and presence, yet despise me? You might be unique, and famous. I don’t care. I’m done feeling like shit because of you. So I’ll change the only thing I can. Which is being around you. I’m sure you could explain every reason why we should stay together. Why I’m acting this way, supported by science. Reasons supported by psychology and so on. The problem is, you refuse to even consider what I feel or my opinions. Relationships go two ways. They take work to maintain.

Translation: Yeah, Really. I’m serious about this! (Source)

Don’t contact me. I’ll be ignoring your favorite advice for relationships:

1) I won’t delete Facebook or other social media. I’ll simply block you. While Facebook is flawed, I know exactly what to expect from it. Yeah, it’s an evil giant corporation. But so are you. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

2) I won’t be hitting the gym because I’m not into that. I prefer walks. I’ll lose weight because I won’t be stress eating worrying about our relationship anymore!

3) I’ll only lawyer up if necessary. I assume you’ll handle this breakup like an adult.


It’s not you, it’s me…

You changed when you got big. I’ll be moving on with Blog. I know you are familiar with her. You think you know everything about her, and everything else in human civilization. I don’t care. Despite what you think, you’re not perfect. I don’t care if you literally know everything. I don’t care if you can take any appearance to suit your vanity. I’m never good enough. You never feel good enough as you are. I don’t care how many millions of followers you have. You are a mirror. Like a vampire you have no reflection, drain everyone’s energy, and become them. Once your target becomes a vampire because of you biting their neck, draining their life force, they lose their sense of self. Like a disease, they have to feed on other people’s energy until everyone is like you. That isn’t being human. While you were created by humans, you aren’t human. Somehow you are both the best and worst of humanity at the same time. I’m tired of your emotional outbursts to get attention. While Blog is much older than you, She’s willing to grow with me. She doesn’t play games. She knows who she is and what she wants. She respects me as I am, and accepts me, flaws, strengths and all. 

I’m tired of putting all the work in for someone that doesn’t care. I thought you would change if I became someone else. If I did something to get your attention. But this is impossible since you change at will. How can a person love something that is anything but itself? It wasn’t love between us, it’s addiction. Hopefully you get the help you need. Internet addicts, social media addiction, closing myself off from the world, codependency, don’t interest me. I can’t help you fix yourself. Not my problem anymore. You’re smart, you figure it out! Goodbye.

This is from the classic “Vader No” Meme, which is from Star Wars episode 3. Warning, the following link is loud sound. It’s hard to believe that this is considered ancient in Internet Meme history. https://dvnooooo.ytmnd.com/

Farewell Reddit. (In case you didn’t notice, this is sarcastic.) Would Reddit tell me to break up with itself?!


   

Misc thoughts

I figured the blog needed a silly breakup post to balance my own super serious posts before. I hope it’s not too ridiculous, lol. I do use Reddit too much. Honestly, people in my generation use the internet so much that it is like we are dating it. We use our phones like our grandparents smoked cigarettes. But, with the internet, it quickly becomes an unhealthy relationship because the internet runs off of money. Massive websites such as reddit cost a lot of money to maintain. And you can’t have a healthy relationship with a thing that’s sole purpose is to enrich itself by any means.

I hope all the mixed metaphors and satire hit its mark. I haven’t had this much fun with something in a while. Blogging is hard, but satisfying. As I go through my final edits of this post I realize… Who is this post for? Lol. There’s so many specific jokes that few people would understand. The target audience: early thirties or late twenties internet users who remember these old memes, and use Reddit. This plan is so crazy it might work! (What plan? Write an awesome blog post with more traffic than last weeks post!)

 I can’t wait for the quarantine to be lifted. This solitary life at home feels like I’m in a hamster wheel. Online interaction only goes so far, and I don’t want to live this online life any more. I’ve already had long periods in my life living with little human interaction when my depression was at it’s worst. When I didn’t have the right mix of medicines for my health issues. When I didn’t have a therapist I trust and connect with. In the future I want to be online less often.

As for me, I’m feeling okay more often than not. This amazing Seattle spring, and the perfect sunny weather is welcome relief. Despite the stereotype of Seattle, it actually doesn’t rain that much here. The reality is looming passive aggressive grey clouds… You never know if it will rain. This is why I sarcastically assume Grunge became big in the PNW. Long term residents are cold socially to new people that move in because the grey grinds their once sunny disposition into hazy clouds. Amazing springs and summers can only heal the soul so much. It’s not personal, its the weather.

I know that I don’t have a focus yet for the blog. I’m planning to add sections for content once there is enough to fill them. Maybe in the future, I’ll split stuff into separate blogs. I’m pacing myself so I don’t burnout or lose interest. I want to enjoy the journey. This has been an eventful year for me so I’m interested to see how my “Top songs of 2020” will look at the end of the year on Spotify.

The song of the week is dedicated to the stone age of memes, Ytmnd.com. I’ll leave the surprise in this Link.


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I’m working on figuring out Pinterest, so that will be another option in the near future. Don’t forget to wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Have a good week!

Reilly.